Views from the Strippermobile traveling through Las Vegas, raising decency and safety concerns

This little boy refuses to stand for the pledge of allegiance until the military ends discrimination against gays and lesbians. Meanwhile, the governor of Rhode Island (played by the Grinch), refuses to allow bereaved people to make funeral arrangements for their same-sex partners.

A standard movie poster theme emerges

Somehow I can’t get on the pity party bandwagon for new moms whose baby isn’t the gender they wanted.

Desserts made with fruit and Viagra.

Androgyny is back, ya’ll.

Unless your speak Portugese, skip ahead to :50 to watch a runner up snatch the wig off Miss Gay Brazil’s head.

Are any of your favorite authors nominated for a Bad Sex in Fiction award?

You probably have heard of the Marquis de Sade, from whom we get the term “sadist.” Who’s the guy behind “masochist?”

Fascinating little article on the symptoms that occur when you’re not having enough sex.

Shocker! Women can use sex as a means of control in a relationship. Well, women with personality disorders at least.

Questions? Comments? Violent Reactions? Email Timaree at sexwithtimaree@gmail.com See more at SexwithTimaree.com

Question to the Sexpert:

“This isn’t a sex question per say, but you seem to know about social etiquette and gender. I’m a cute girl- not Adriana Lima or anything, but totally inoffensive to all senses- surrounded by nerd boys. I went into a branch of science where there are rarely other females so most of my colleagues are dorky but nice guys who appear to be terrified at the possibility of interacting with me.  They have created an inner circle of guys who all talk to each other and hang out in a friendly way and I’d like to be involved since we’re all in this together and I’m still somewhat new to town. They don’t seem to want to approach me. I can only guess it’s because they’re scared of girls (only two of them have had girlfriends in the last 5 years). I don’t want to freak them out by being too friendly or give them the impression I’m hitting on them. What is the best way to handle this awkwardness?”

Dealing socially with nerdlinger boys can be tricky, no doubt, even/especially when you’re accustomed to the social interactions that come with being a cute young female.

It’s a rare and beautiful bird who is known to be both a total nerd and a complete slut (outside of the arts). Fellow grad students in Human Sexuality, I’m looking at you.

What defines your coworkers’ geekiness is that they have placed their area of study above partaking in the fracas of the social scene. This may be because they don’t want to be part of the game… but more likely because it’s hard for them. Early experiences with people may have been rejection-filled or so terrifying of a prospect that they never happened. So you’re dealing with guys who possibly have neither the inclination nor the ability to approach you, say “hi” and see if you want to join them for a cup Caffe Americain Psycho.

But as much as you may not want to play Social Skills Coach to these dudes who have shown no interest in your inclusion, it’s in your best interest.  This is not just important networking but the most basic level requirements for an enjoyable workplace. No one wants to dread work, and having no friends at your job is a real quick way to get to hating it.

JUST TALK WORK

If you approach these guys directly with work-related topics, avoiding the pitfall of looking like you’re helpless, they will have to respond. Clearly this mysterious branch of science interests you so you should have plenty to discuss. Just take the required initiative and approach them when they are somewhere between one task and another. This way they know they can flee at any moment to go back to work but are not going to have to stop in the middle of anything to chat.

INVITE THEM IN GROUPS

You don’t get invited to the party? Start your own damn party. You may have to play hostess, even if it’s at a bar. When you see multiple coworkers assembled together talking, bring up an invitation that includes the following: an activity that interests them, indication there will be minimal other people present and a convenient time/location so there are no easy excuses for skipping out. There may be a few instances of them bailing on you. If this happens, re-evaluate how much you care about being friends with these particular coworkers.

FINE, USE YOUR SEXUALITY

I make this the last option because it means playing into sexism and allowing yourself to be objectified simply so that you will be treated humanely. But, if these nerdlingers are really that starved for female attention and you really are that cute, you can have them under your command like a flock of imprinted geese with an embarrassing knowledge of role-playing games and a hopelessly outmoded fashion sense.

You might well give them the impression they have a chance with you and this could turn into a stalkerific nightmare, so tread carefully. Be friendly, use your female social powers of putting people at ease and make them feel important.

It might seem like the onus is on you entirely: that you have to make the first move and go out of your way to save them from getting the wrong idea. At some point, though, it’s up to them to grow a pair and act human.

Questions? Comments? Violent Reactions? Email Timaree at sexwithtimaree@gmail.com See more at SexwithTimaree.com

Question to the Sexpert:

“I know you’re not like the Ambassador to Gay or anything, but maybe you have some insights: why do gay boys think they can grab women and sexually harass them and it’s ok because they’re gay? I have a few different gay guy friends who do this. We go out and they grab my boob in the midst of conversation, trying to be funny. Or they spank my ass as I walk by. It would be outrageous if a straight guy did it, but since they’re gay I’m supposed to be ok? What is up with that?”

Wait a minute! I’m NOT the Ambassador to Gay? But I’ve been planning on using diplomatic immunity to get out of a string of offenses I’ve been racking up over the last couple weeks. Now I need a new plan and I don’t think I know near enough pig farmers to dispose of all the evidence.

You’ve mentioned a phenomenon that has been noticed by more than a few women before. I collected a few choice stories to flesh out the picture for those readers who have not had the honor of being a molested Fag Hag (or, as one associate refers to them, Fabulatrons).

“I’m a straight guy in the theater and I’d see the gay guys in the cast just walk in and out of the women’s dressing room like it was nothing. My ex girlfriend was an actress and she complained about gay dudes in her plays just walking through while girls were changing and grab her boob randomly because it was funny. It really pissed her off.”

“I work in a nightclub and the atmosphere is generally flirty all around. But if a straight dude tried to actually touch me, security would be all over them. Gay dudes jokingly grab my ass or flap up the back of my skirt and it’s just supposed to be funny.”

The purpose of these stories and this column in general is not to come down hard on gay dudes for being a bunch of insensitive jerks. The reality is that harassment can happen to anyone and come from anywhere, but it’s rarely mentioned if the harasser is expected to be innocuous and harmless.

And for the blinding flash of the obvious moment of today: clearly not all gay men engage in this behavior.  Further, women can perpetrate this same kind of harassment to other women, but this behavior is rarely corrected at the time, even if the harassed person is upset.

“I have a female friend who, when she gets drunk, gets real grabby. Sometimes it’s funny, but regardless of how I feel when it happens, it’s like I’m not allowed to be anything more than a little annoyed because she’s a woman and therefore can’t possibly mean anything by it.”

There’s a lot of ways to read these types of behavior from gay dudes and straight chicks, some of them more sane than others.

INTERPRETATION 1: WOMEN GET OBJECTIFIED BY ALL OF SOCIETY

It’s never ok to grab a woman’s body, especially the parts designated as sexual, without her consent. It doesn’t matter if you’re not intending to go any further or doing it for humor. When you do this, you are no different than a straight man who does the same thing for entertainment. It’s exploitative and rude.

INTERPRETATION 2: WE HAVE DIFFERENT IDEAS OF PERSONAL SPACE

Cultures of women and gay men are distinct and unique from other cultures in our society. The rules of comradery and closeness mean that personal space is shared different between two female friends or between a woman and a gay male friend. Perhaps this closeness (which on the good side means plenty of tight hugs and hand holding) can have an unintended consequence of over-familiarity.  Just speak up if you think someone has crossed the line and let them know it bothers you. It’s their job to respect it.

INTERPRETATION 3: CONSPIRACY THEORY

There’s always the possibility that the gay men or straight women offenders are pulling off the most elaborate practice joke ever just so that they can periodically grab a boob or two. There’s always the thought, “maybe he’s not really gay,” or “maybe she really is.” I wouldn’t so much worry about it. I’d stick with the first two interpretations because that’s a hell of a straight man who would go to the trouble of dating and blowing men just so he could walk into women’s dressing rooms.

Or maybe he’s bi. Whatever. Everyone, just take note: don’t be a bunch of Grabby Gertrudes and we’ll all be just fine.

Questions? Comments? Violent Reactions? Email Timaree at sexwithtimaree@gmail.com See more at SexwithTimaree.com

Without certain hormones, flies get freak nasty. Turns out fruit flies are sluts.

Judge asks lawyers behind gay marriage ban how, exactly, heterosexuals are hurt by gay marriage.

Interracial couple denied marriage license on the basis their potential kids might not be accepted anywhere.

Future women will be shorter, plumper, more fertile. Kind of, like, the opposite of what I want to be.

If you live in Pennsylvania, you might be eligible for reduced cost family planning services.

Photos of a woman’s healthy cervix for an entire month. Thanks to Erica for the link!

86 year old vet asked what he thinks about gay marriage- responds “what do you think I fought for on Omaha Beach?”

5 women given HIV by the same man

Hope for victims of genital mutilation.

Questions? Comments? Violent Reactions? Email Timaree at sexwithtimaree@gmail.com See more at SexwithTimaree.com

Question to the Sexpert:

“My roommate is hooked on the damn Twilight series and won’t shut the fuck up about Edward Cullen. She has a legitimate, full-on crush on this fictional character. She talks constantly about vampires and how much she wants to have sex with one. And several of her friends are in agreement. They are all now obsessed with how sexy vampires are because of these books and all the movies out right now. What is wrong with them?”

There are a few ways I can answer this: the Freudian-Jungian route, the film class snob route and the route where I copy the straight-to-the-gut response written in the comments of an online article on why the Twilight books are so bloody sexless.

ClicheLaMoron writes:

“The book is TOTAL porn. But, not the scary kind with dicks. The kind that’s PERFECT for teenage girls, which is all about getting off on the pain of loving someone so hard and not being able to have him. Which is a sexual feeling, even though that makes no sense to dudes. But in reality, you cannot have your idol because you are hideous and unpopular, not because HE LOVES YOU TOO MUCH TO EVER ENDANGER YOU WITH HIS LOOOOOOOVE, but the good/bad feeling is much the same.”

For those of you who have, through either luck or sheer force of will, managed to escape the cultural phenomenon that is the Twilight series of books and movies about vampires written by terrible Mormon writer Stephanie Meyer, let me bring you up to speed. The main character, a whiny uninteresting pretty girl named Bella, meets and falls in love with a vampire named Edward Cullen who is maddeningly attracted to her and must use every ounce of strength not to drink her blood… because he is a pansy ass “vegetarian” vampire who only eats animals. They are in love, they don’t have sex. And now you know everything you need to know.

And ClicheLaMoron has a point. With apologies to my good friends who love these books, they are fantasy for girls who haven’t found themselves getting what they want in the romance department… which is most women, really. The tale is of a girl who moves to a new town and is instantly desired by the sexiest creature ever. It’s appealing to girls who stare longingly across a classroom day in and day out at a boy who fails to see what an amazing, wonderful, beautiful princess she is. These are young adult fiction with a target demographic that has more orthodontic appointments than real life sexual partners.

But I don’t want to sound like this new crop of vampire fans are wrong or bad, they are the latest in a long line of people entranced by the sexiness of vampires. Even though Bram Stoker’s Dracula was a creepy, monstrous creature (a far cry from the gay rave that is Robert Pattison’s chiseled torso), he was an incredible sexually appealing character.

To read more about vampires, sexuality, race, rape and fantasy…. continue on at SexwithTimaree.com

Questions? Comments? Violent reactions? Email sexwithtmaree@gmail.com See more at http://sexwithtimaree.com