Today’s embarrassing nigga moment comes from track star Marion Jones.

For nearly 15 years, Jones has been trying to outrun rumors that she takes performance enhancing drugs. In 1992, she hired the late Johnny Cochran (never a good sign in terms of public opinion) to help her successfully avoid a ban for not showing up to a mandatory drug test. Although her story seemed shaky, we believed her.

More recently, Trevor Graham, Jones’ coach, has been implicated in a major doping scandal.  Another curious coincidence, but we gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Soon after, Jones was named in the BALCO scandal as an athlete who purchased and consumed illegal enhancers. Innocent until proven guilty, most Black people insisted.

Even Jones’ own husband, C.J. Hunter, testified that Jones injected illegal drugs into her stomach in the Sydney Olympic Village. Jones angrily dismissed Hunter as a desperate hater and, despite our gut instincts, we grudgingly accepted her story.

Last week, however, was the last straw.

New reports revealed that Jones failed an initial drug test at the U.S. championships in June. Apparently, Jones tested positive for erythropoietin (EPO), which is a banned substance. Just before the news broke, Jones announced her withdrawal from the current Weltklasse Golden League competition in Switzerland for “personal reasons.”

As always, Jones’ team of spin doctors are saying that the results are false and that she was “framed” by some evil third party. Don’t laugh, maybe it’s true!

Hopefully, during her inevitable two-year ban, she will be able to find the person who’s been systematically ruining her image for two decades.

While we’re at it, maybe she can help OJ find the real killer.

I’m getting tired y’all. I know I promised that I’d give you a weekly Flavor of Love update but, as I mentioned last week, it’s getting hard to stomach. All I can say is that I’m glad the Voter Rights Act was renewed before this show aired. Otherwise, Negroes might be in trouble!

• How did Big Rick get that job?
• Last night, Warren G made an appearance on the show. Other than Bridgette Nielson, G was the first major celebrity guest. Based on the promos, however, there will be a string of celebs that will make guest appearances this summer. Flav seems to be borrowing a page from Donald Trump, who regularly brings famous people onto The Apprentice to pique viewers interest and demonstrate his own star power. As I’ve said repeatedly, the show’s genius was its simplicity. This feels like yet another step toward jumping the shark.
• Is it me or was Flavor Flav wearing a Burger King hat at dinner?
• Patienz’ random outbreaks of Chinese were unbearable, as were Nibblez’ attempts to understand (”I know I heard ‘dojo’”). The only thing more obnoxious than Patienz’ drunken Chinese accent was Top Model’s Yaya, who pompously pleaded for “respeto” in her not-so-native Portuguese
• It seemed like Crazy was really crying about Flav’s lack of attention. There must be something in the DSM-IV about that.
• Were those bullet/knife wounds on Deelishis’ arm?
• Why was Somethin’ acting like Flav was unreasonable for cutting her from the show? Although she claims that she’s happy that she shat (yes that’s a word!) on the floor because it made her “stand out,” I beg to differ. I don’t often agree with Flavor Flav, but I too think that defecating on my floor during your first trip to my house is a deal breaker.
• Tiget was dismissed from the show because she “wasn’t right for this.” At first I was offended, given the race/gender/class implications of the statement. Then she responded by saying that Flav had “exceed my expectations tenfold.” After she uttered such a literate and coherent phrase, I also wanted her to run like the wind.
• During the commercial breaks, they now play snippets from Flavor Flav’s upcoming album. It’ll be interesting to see how it sells.

A few weeks ago, New York Knicks point guard Stephon Marbury announced that he would be endorsing a new sneaker. Of course, in a 21st century world where nearly every rapper and basketball player has his own shoe deal, this wasn’t exactly groundbreaking news.

(Tangent #1: Is it me or are the G-Unit sneakers hideous?)
(Tangent #2: Aren’t Pharrell’s “Ice Cream” shoes just as bad?)
(Tangent #3: How the hell did Lupe Fiasco get a shoe deal before his album dropped? And no, I’m not hating. I just don’t get the marketing logic.)

There was, however, one difference: Marbury’s new “Starbury” shoe will be sold for $14.95.

This is an incredibly important move that I hope will be replicated by other professional athletes and rappers. By making his sneakers affordable, Marbury is doing an incredible service to the millions of poor youth who struggle to look and dress like superstar athletes. Gestures like these are the type of real on-the-ground celebrity activism that we must consistently acknowledge and honor.

Still, the cynic in me feels forced to point out that Marbury isn’t doing this merely out of anti-consumerist impulses. After years of underachievement and media criticism, Marbury probably couldn’t get a major deal from Nike, Adidas, or Reebok. It certainly didn’t help that his And-1 shoe, which sold for a reletively modest $69.95, was largely unsuccessful.

(Tangent #4: Are these shoes made in the same sweatshops that produce shoes for the major companies? If so, do they the workers take a pay cut? It’s interesting how people’s political consciousness is confined to local economic struggles)

Regardless of Marbury’s intentions, I hope that his sneaker is wildly successful. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening for two major reasons.

First, Marbury claims that, despite its low price, his shoe is of the same high quality as the majors. While I don’t doubt that this is true, I’m forced to wonder why they look so cheap. As soon as I saw photos of the Starbury shoe, I was instantly reminded of the hideous sneakers that I pass on my way to the freezer aisle in the supermarket. I can’t say how well they sell at SuperFresh, but the bin is always full. That can’t be a good sign.

Still, despite what many people think, it is possible to sell an inexpensive shoe to the consumer minded hip-hop generation. Over the past 15 years, Reebok Classics ($54.11s), Air Force Ones, white t-shirts, and khaki work pants have been big sellers among the hip-hop generation. The difference is that each of those products were backed by major artists and movements that produced a public desire for “real” ghettocentric atttire. Unfortunately, Marbury lacks the star power to make it happen. Now if Jay-Z’s “S-Dot” or Allen Iverson’s “Answer” sold for 15 bucks, that’d be a different story.

“There are no hereditary kings in America and no powers not created by the Constitution.”

This statement has been bandied about by pundits, politicians, and everyday people since the Bush Administration began its assault on individual privacy and collective freedom through its warrantless wiretapping program. Yesterday, however, the statement was finally made from the right place.

In a 43-page opinion, U.S. District Judge Anna Diggs Taylor held that the wiretapping program violates the 1st and 4th Amendments to the Constitution, which respectively protect free speech and prohibit unlawful searches. She also argued that the program violates the Federal Administrative Procedures Act and the separation-of-powers doctrine. It is the first time a federal judge has ruled that the controversial surveillance program violates constitutional rights.

Of course, this is far from over. The Bush administration expressed its strong disagreement and disappointment and asked that the decision be stayed pending appeal. All indications are that the case will eventually make its way to the Supreme Court. Still, the ruling is yet another chilling blow to Bush’s wartime agenda.

Just a few quick thoughts:

•    Taylor ruled in favor of the Bush Administration with regard to data mining, arguing that not enough had been revealed about the program to support the plaintiffs’ claims. Further litigation, she ruled, would jeopardize state secrets. I was surprised that Taylor made such a ruling since she rejected the same argument with regard to domestic spying, labeling it “disingenuous and without merit.” It will be interesting to see how this affects all of the upcoming cases against phone companies that improperly turned over records to NSA.
•    If Bush has violated criminal statutes through his domestic eavesdropping, why is there no talk of impeachment?
•    The fight over this issue should create an important opportunity for Democrats to gain political momentum for 2008. This ruling, combined the with the Supreme Court’s rejection of military tribunals, will enable the Dems to rightly represent Bush as a lawless cowboy.
•    Given the disorganization and cowardice of the Democratic Party, expect Bush to transform this into a political virtue by casting himself as a defender of freedom who is being obstructed by soft liberals.
•    Expect Taylor, an African American woman, to be brought through the fire over the next few weeks for her decision. Of course, her decision was contentious and deserves to be scrutinized. Unfortunately, the discussions will likely take a vicious and ad feminem turn that would not happen under different circumstances.

Assigned by Essence to investigate rumors of U.S. brothers flocking to Rio
de Janeiro for secret sex vacations, William Jelani Cobb found more than he bargained
for.

My (Uncensored) Brazil Travel Diary
By William Jelani Cobb
Friday, May 5: The Scene
Walking around the city, I see at once why so many people had warned me Rio
would be a hard place to leave. I don’t think they were referring to the
scenery, though. At least not the geographical kind.

I’m here to get the real deal on another scene entirely-brothers who travel
to Rio for a sex hookup. My first night, my editor asks if I’m finding it
“fairly easy” to get an angle on the story. Um.I guess you could say that-if
you count being told what a big, strong, handsome man you are by random
beautiful women in restaurants, running into a former neighbor from Brooklyn
at a club where the ratio is always about five women to one man, meeting
Chris*, a bartender who offers to be my unofficial translator, and being
introduced to Nick, a 300-pound brother from Chicago who moved here, bought
real estate, and seems to know almost every woman in the bar. If that
qualifies as fairly easy, then yes, the story is already in plain view.

In the clubs where brothers gather, the women make a point of saying how
much they like Black men. When I ask one why, she laughs and says, “Black
men make strong love.” It’s clear the women know just how to approach their
consumer base.

Saturday, May 6: Opening Statements
The next woman to run the big-strong-handsome line on me is 5 feet10 inches
tall with flawless skin and so fine I can’t stop staring. I’m in a club that
works like a supermarket. A series of women dance onstage and you
essentially pick the one you like. One minute I’m drinking with Chris, the
bartender, and watching her, the next she’s off the stage, walking over and
introducing herself. She says she saw me from onstage. The thing is, she
doesn’t speak much English, so her introduction involves kissing me on each
cheek and grabbing my hand.

Intoxicating? Absolutely.

I’m starting to think it’s not just sex that lures brothers here. It’s not
just about how many women they sleep with or how responsive or skilled the
women are.
For the rest of the story, click here.