Today’s photo of the day shows Tim Duncan, whose Spurs are on the brink of elimination by the Los Angeles Lakers. While some will ultimately blame the Spurs’ fall on last night’s no-call at the buzzer,  their failure to maintain the 20 point lead in Game 1 gave the Lakers an unshakable confidence that will carry them into the Finals.

Today’s video of the day is “Lollipop (Remix)” with Kanye West and Lil’ Wayne. This isn’t actually a video, but a YouTube version of the song. Anyway, this shit is hot! If you don’t like this then you’re a hater!!!

Question to the Sexpert:

“So, while doing some cleaning, I stumbled across my boyfriend’s porn collection. No big deal, but I was surprised to find that most of the videos and magazines are about Asian women. I don’t mind that he has this stuff- I’m sure most of it he got before we were together anyway, but I guess I don’t get it. Neither of us is Asian, I’ve never known him to date Asian women and he’s never mentioned having a particular preference before. Can you shed some light on this for me?”

Ahh, the ole porn stash. Not to be confused with the “pornstache” that often resides on the upper lip of macho porn stars of the 70s and now, Orlando Bloom, waiting patiently for the time when its owner might place his thumb and forefinger at the center and stroke outwards around the mouth, as though petting a particularly sleazy dog.

There’s something about a person’s cache of pornography that is deeply personal and potentially embarrassing. What really, truly turns us on when no one else is around is an integral part of our core, a little glimpse under the proverbial skirt of our psyche and something we rarely discuss, even with our most intimate of partners. Many of us try desperately to keep our secret sexual turn-ons from being public knowledge because of the inevitable, “but why? What about this does it for you?”

Very few of us can pin-point exactly what it is about [whatever] that makes us hot, or describe why X, Y, and Z are sexy enough but K is the fucking kryptonite that sends us over the edge every time. Asian girls are your man’s kryptonite, I guess. Be glad it’s not something creepy.

Or shit, maybe there was some kind of sale at Ye Olde Porn Barn where if he bought Pacific RimJob and Menage-a-Thai he’d also get Joy Cock Club for free and he just can’t turn down a good deal.

There are definitely plenty of reasons a person might have a particular penchant for porn featuring women of Asia, even if they are not Asian nor experienced with dating Asians. Not knowing your man, this is all conjecture and I’m just putting out other people’s theories. I don’t think it really matters why he’s into this particular genre, but if you really want an answer, here are a few ideas to sift through:

•    He’s racist.
Umm. Well, that sort of stands out as an obvious one, doesn’t it? There are many factors that play into the massive sex tourism/slavery/porn industry of Asian, not the least of which are desperate poverty and rich Americans feeling entitled to whatever they want. According to Christopher Kendall, “racism, once eroticized, proves remarkably profitable.”

Throughout the media and pornography, both gay and straight, there are stereotypes of Asians as being obsequiously submissive, more feminine and delicate . And many group-specific porn magazines and movies are clearly made for and marketed to demographics other than those of the performers, be they Asian, lesbian, teenagers, etc. Although I tend to differ with Andrea Dworkin, she has said the segmentation of porn into groups of people is so that consumers can pick which type of people they want to degrade.

•    He likes submissiveness.
In that same vein, Leonard Shlain argued that all pornography is a viewer’s chance to visually engage with a partner who can’t say no, because they’re nyphomaniacal sluts or because they’re physically restrained in bondage. The power dynamics in porn are paramount for many consumers and again, latching onto stereotypes, Asian porn stars may be fetishized for their perceived salaciousness and Geisha-like submission.

•    He thinks the women and/or the sex are exotic
Some people fantasize about super tall giantesses who could crush them underfoot. Others get hot thinking about tiny, short and delicate ladies who can be tossed about and lifted overhead. Maybe your man finds something exotic about Asian women in particular or is lured in by the ideas that sex featuring Asian starlets will be more exotic and strange.

•    None of the above
Maybe he had a thing for Cindy Kim in 3rd grade and never really got over her. Maybe he just likes certain shades of skin and hair colors and facial features. Maybe he didn’t want to lurk around in the porn store for a long time so he just ran in real fast, grabbed the first 15 DVDs he could find and bought them.

Who knows? Ask him.

Timaree Schmit is a trained sexologist who has also worked as an HIV prevention counselor and sex educator. She has written widely for numerous publications and was recently recognized by Coed Magazine as one of the 10 Most Famous College Sex Columnists in America. Timaree is completing a doctorate in Human Sexuality at Widener University.

Do you have a question or comment? Please email Timaree directly at sexpert@MarcLamontHill.com

Sorry we’ve screwed things up. Now, suck it up and lead.

Dear Class of 2008
By Melissa Harris-Lacewell

I know that everyone is saying, “Congratulations.” We say it because we are proud of you and what you have accomplished. I want to say something else; something that others may not say. “I am sorry.”

We have a lot of reasons to apologize.

We have taught you to think of education as a program, formula or code that you can crack. We have valued grades and scores more than learning. We have forgotten to teach you that all understanding begins with wonder and with following unexpected discovery in unknown directions. We have tried to stomp the wonder out of you by getting you to choose a track and stick with it. We have asked you to excel in every endeavor and to avoid anything that might diminish your record of excellence. When we rewarded you only for following all of our rules and not for making any of your own, we did more to close your minds than to open them.

I am sorry that we have taught you to value economic success over passionate engagement with your work. As educated Americans you have choices that many people in the rest of the world do not have. Even with the vast inequalities and deepening economic crisis in our country, your diploma or degree places you among the most privileged in a privileged country. But instead of teaching you to follow your passions and to serve others, we have encouraged you to follow the money.

Most people in the world are poor. Most have inadequate educations. Most will be forced to work jobs that pay the bills and starve their spirits. As you graduate, you may be able to escape this fate, but only if you are brave enough to follow your passions even when the economic rewards are not completely clear.

People like me saw our grandmothers scrub floors and mend other people’s clothes to feed their children in the Jim Crow South. Or we saw our grandfathers worked to an early grave by jobs that they hated. We wanted to save you from that fate. But we forgot that our grandmothers and grandfathers had dreams, just not the choice to follow them. Our advice to measure yourself by a paycheck instead of by the love of your work may mean that, for you, work will still just amount to a way to pay the bills — far bigger bills than our ancestors had. We are sorry for teaching you to trade your soul for a paycheck.

I am sorry that we punished you for making mistakes. We forgot to teach you that mistakes are the path of greatness. If you fall in love, don’t be afraid of the break-up, and if you break-up, wallow in the exquisite agony of heartbreak. If you ask a stupid question in class or on the job, listen to the answer. If you are unwilling to make mistakes, you cannot live your best life, you cannot be humble, or find your passion, or be productive, or be of service.

I am sorry that we did not make the world safe for you to make mistakes. We know that it is deeply unfair that more often than not poor, urban, black and brown youth are made to pay for their juvenile missteps for a lifetime, while the children of privilege are afforded safety, room to grow, multiple opportunities and a safety net. We are sorry for attacking you, instead of working to make the world equally safe for marginalized and vulnerable youth as it is for wealthy young people.

For the rest of the story, click here. 

Playboy’s Soft Quarter

Playboy Enterprises announced that they lost $3.1 million for the first quarter of 2008. What do you think?

Lee Chong,
Deck Crew
“Yeah, with the Internet, now everyone can just go to Granta Online and read quality essays for free.”

Dora Flood,
Baker
“I guess that means I’ll have to stop saying ‘Sex sells.’ Man, I used to love saying ‘Sex sells.’”

Eddie O’Donnell,
Meat Processor
“Playboy lost my business a long time ago after I discovered Playgirl.”