Vatican Okays Space Aliens

Vatican chief astronomer Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes stated that belief in extraterrestrial life is not contradictory with church doctrine because aliens would still be God’s creatures. What do you think?

Babette Kroll,
Systems Analyst
“Is that the same astronomer who pardoned Galileo? He’s really on fire this decade.”

Mark Klein,
Opthalmic Dispenser
“Get with the times, Catholicism. Scientology already proved that aliens are real.”

Jerry Goodwiler,
Cashier
“Sure, what’s the harm in believing in two things with no physical evidence?”

Today’s photo of the day shows Martin Biron of the Philadelphia Flyers, who avoided elimination last night by defeating the Penguins 4-2. Never underestimate the power of hard work!

Today’s video of the day shows New York news anchor Sue Simmons, who acted the fool on live TV last week.

“I know that some of you are probably tired, tired of the injustices. We get tired of having to fight for our rights on a day to day basis. It reminds us of some words that Jeremiah uttered, “is there no balm in Gilead, is there no physician there?” Jeremiah looked and saw the injustices of life, and he raised that question. Centuries later our slave foreparents came along. They had a hard time…I thank God tonight that our foreparents didn’t lose hope. They did an amazing thing. They looked back across the centuries. They took Jeremiah’s question mark, and straightened it into an exclamation point. They could say, “There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole. There is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin sick soul.”

Then they came to another stanza that means so much to me, “Sometimes I feel discouraged.” I’m not going to be untrue to you tonight, sometimes I feel discouraged, having to live under the threat of death every day. Sometimes I feel discouraged having to take so much abuse and criticism, sometimes from my own people. Sometimes I feel discouraged, having to go to bed so often frustrated with the chilly winds of adversity about to stagger me. Sometimes I feel discouraged, and feel my work’s in vain.

But then the Holy Spirit revives my soul again. In Gilead, we make the wounded whole. If we will believe that, we will build a new Memphis, and bring about the day when every valley shall be exalted, every mountain and hill will be made low. The rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. We will be able to build right here a city which has foundations.”

Jimmy Fallon To Host ‘Late Night’

NBC officially announced that Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O’Brien as host of Late Night in 2009. What do you think?

Bill Echols,
Game Warden
“Was that annoying guy from the Verizon commercials unavailable?”

Don Lee,
Sonographer
“I didn’t know his fans were allowed to stay up that late.”

Anne MacLean,
Order Filler
“You know, people groaned when they heard Jimmy Kimmel was getting his own show. And now, at least 15 percent of them have changed their tune.”