Yesterday marked the first day of the Democratic National Convention. Here’s my report card for some of the major players:

Nancy Pelosi

Grade: B

In the midst of yesterday’s lovefest, Nancy Pelosi was one of the few people with a strong message. More than any other speaker, Pelosi took McCain to task for his voting record and current plan for America. Unfortunately, Pelosi’s remarks were so far from primetime that most Americans didn’t hear them. If the rest of the week follows the same pattern as Monday, which followed the same pattern as the entire 2004 convention, John McCain can rest easy.

Ted Kennedy 

Grade: A+

How could he get any other grade? Although no one would admit it publicly, there was a recurring undercurrent among prominent delegates that Ted Kennedy may have to “save the night” in case Michelle Obama bombed. While this turned out to be unnecessary, Kennedy still enhanced the evening by giving a brief but powerful address that reminded the DNC about its mission and future. More importantly, he gave the party a chance to thank him for a lifetime of tireless work in the Senate.

Jim Leach

Grade: B-

The idea of having a career Republican come to the convention and endorse Obama is a brilliant one, particularly given the number of Democrats scheduled to appear at the RNC. Unfortunately, Jim Leach was so uninteresting and didactic that he stole all the momentum generated from the Kennedy speech. Leach was so bad that he almost seemed like a Republican double-agent sent to disrupt the convention through boredom. That said, Leach was one of the few people to make any serious commentary about the economy, which remains the number one issue item among the American people.

Michelle Obama

Grade: A

If Michelle Obama had one assignment, it was to assure the American people that she “shared their values.” Translation: she had to assure them that she wasn’t the cynical, anti-white, unpatriotic emasculator that she’s been made out to be by the conservative media. Of course, this construction was always the result of white supremacist patriarchy rather than anything that Michelle has said or done. Nevertheless, there’s an election to be won. Rather than shrinking under the pressure, Michelle took the job head on and performed marvelously. The only thing disappointing was the number of people surprised by her success.

College Presidents Rethinking Drinking Age

A group of 104 college and university presidents has signed a statement that suggests the minimum drinking age of 21 encourages a culture of dangerous, clandestine drinking. What do you think?

Toni Graber,
Housewife
“Wait, where exactly is this culture? I am a 48-year-old housewife. I want in.”

Carl Rasmussen,
Systems Analyst
“I remember the hassle of having to do keg stands from behind a curtain.”

Sean Rowan,
Bookstore Manager
“That may be, but getting a fake ID and sneaking into bars at least builds ingenuity and lateral thinking.”

Today’s photo of the day is in loving memory of Aaliyah, who passed away tragically seven years ago yesterday.

Today’s video of the day comes from Day One of the Democratic National Convention, where Ted Kennedy and Michelle Obama were the stars of an otherwise disappointing first day.

Obama Picks Biden As VP

Barack Obama announced via an early-morning text message that Senator Joe Biden will be his running mate. What do you think?

Mark Crook,
Systems Analyst
“Really? Biden is the ultimate Washington insider. Obama should’ve picked somebody who knows absolutely nothing about politics.”

Kari Brecht,
Theologist
“That’s some smart thinking. Biden should poll very well good with mainstream blacks who are articulate.”

Bob Postol,
Environmental Consultant
“Cool! Biden is from where my credit card’s from.”