With inauguration a few weeks away, Barack Obama has nearly completed his choices for key cabinet and advisory positions. Here is my report card for several key ones:

Hillary Clinton (Secretary of State)– While this pick should squelch any notion of a Clinton mutiny in 2012, it’s hard to stomach the fact that she was selected over more qualified candidates like Bill Richardson or even John Kerry. Grade: C

Robert Gates (Secretary of Defense) – This holdover from the Bush Administration makes sense to the extent that he provides stability and know-how, both of which necessary to continue prosecuting the current senseless wars. As long as Gates can change political gears from Bush’s war hawishness to Obama’s semi-hawikshness, he’ll be a solid pick for the president-elect. Grade: A-

James Jones (National Security Advisor) – General Jones brings strong experience and a healthy relationship with Hillary Clinton, a factor that cannot be underestimated. Unfortunately, his failure to speak out against Bush’s mishandling of Iraq and Afghanistan has drawn appropriately intense criticism from both sides of the aisle. Grade:

Timothy Geithner (Secretary of Treasury) – For decades, the president of the Federal Reserve of New York has developed an extensive record of resolving economic crises. In fact, there doesn’t appear to be anyone better qualified to repair our biggest disaster in nearly 100 years. Besides, the most likely alternative was the misanthropic Larry Summers. Grade: A

Arne Duncan (Secretary of Education) – Instead of selecting change-oriented experts like Linda Darling-Hammond, President-Elect Obama went with the CEO of Chicago Public Schools.  While some depict Duncan as a passionate reformer, others view him as a pro-privatization union buster who has only intensified the city’s educational apartheid. At a moment where the very notion of “public” is coming under attack, Duncan represents a disturbing move toward the educational Right. Grade: D.

Rick Warren – Although he is not joining the cabinet, the evangelical leader has been selected to give the invocation at the inauguration. Perhaps this is an olive branch to whites who are still angry about Jeremiah Wright. Maybe Obama doesn’t care that Warren is disturbingly anti-gay and anti-choice. Either way, this choice might be the scariest of all. Grade F-

Overall, Obama has assembled a cabinet that is rich on experience but short on progressive (not to mention female) voices. The fact that multiple members of the Bush cabinet have applauded his choices is proof that the President-elect has done little to prepare us for the change he promised. Final Grade C-

Question to the Sexpert:
“My ex and I split up about 2 and a half months ago after a year and a half of being together. We broke up because he wasn’t taking our relationship seriously enough for me, cancelling plans at the last minute and not being attentive. He is only the third person I’ve ever slept with. I know he’s seeing a couple people casually now but I haven’t been seeing anyone and I’m getting lonely. The last couple times I went out to the bars I really wanted to call him and see if he wanted to just hook up. My friends have talked me out of it, but I don’t think it’s a bad idea because I know it’ll be good and I feel safe with him and it’ll keep me satisfied until I find someone new. Who’s right?”

Don’t you know the universal dating rules about break ups? You’re supposed to pretend everyone you’ve ever dated is actually dead … or even better:  never existed. Everyone knows that as soon as your Facebook friends are alerted to your changed relationship status your ex’s number and texts should be purged from the bowels of your phone and their various left-behind clothing items should be given away or set aflame in a cathartic ceremonial conflagration.

Who am I kidding? I don’t believe a word of that bullshit. My best friends in the world are people I’m no longer dating. I come from the hippie school of thought that anyone who was ever worth loving is still worth keeping around and that adults can peacefully co-exist even after they’ve touched each other’s respective hoo-has.
That said, (dun dun dun!) stop drunk dialing your good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend.
Sure, it’s easy: the odds of rejection are pretty small, the sex will be familiar and reassuring, and you know that great spot to park your car so that you can stay until the morning without getting a ticket. But for all the temptation that reliable, comfortable sexfests offer, they also serve up a heap of Drawback O’Rama.

SAFE? MEH.
Odds are good your ex-man will be all about bumping fuzzies with the girl who was attractive enough to bang for over a year, so calling him up might seem like a good bet. He’ll know all the right spots to hit and if you knew him to be STI-free a few months back, he seems safer than some random stranger you find at Happy Hour.
Right? Wrong. Aside from the fact he may well have picked something up from one of his current side projects, you’re forgetting the little itty bitty thing called  your feelings.  It hurt your feelings that you liked him and he wasn’t available. What part of booty calls will assuage that need?

YO, CAPTAIN AWESOMESAUCE, REMEMBER WHY YOU BROKE UP?
He wasn’t attentive, he wasn’t considerate:  it hurt your feelings. Nothing has changed. He still won’t be attentive, he won’t be considerate and your feelings will still get hurt. The only difference is that now you can’t be mad about him running around with other girls because you set his ass loose. Your emotions will continue to operate as they are wont to do, but now instead of being Angry Girlfriend, you’ll be a Psycho Ex-Girlfriend, which is an even less enjoyable role to play….albeit way more fun to watch from the outside.

REKINDLING? MAYBE JUST KINDLING.
Maybe there’s another motivation to seek him out again, the same reason that you haven’t dated anyone else in the time since the split: you’re ambivalent about the whole thing. Yeah, he was an ass to you. It sucks. But you still like the stupid douchewaffle and just wish he would act differently. So perhaps there is some part of your brain, tucked deep away with the recipe for sweet and sour chicken and the knowledge of the state capitals, that thinks these late-night entanglements will lead to you two getting back together.
There isn’t a reason in the world to expect that though. He clearly hasn’t learned a thing. If he was messed up about losing you or interested in changing up his behavior, he’d have done so and come crawling back to you, not the other way around. It’s a sad, unpleasant reality, but a reality nonetheless. Letting you believe otherwise would be negligence on my part.

FINE!  I GET IT. SO WHAT NOW?
Get back on that dating horse if you want to find someone. You’ve had a couple months to marinate in the juices of mourning and might enjoy the flattery of flirting with new people again. But remember to avoid making the easy mistake of throwing yourself into a new relationship hoping to get over this last one. Take it slowly, talk things out with your friends (they seem to have their heads right),  forget about Mr. So Two Months Ago and buy new batteries for your vibrator.

Timaree Schmit is a trained sexologist who has also worked as an HIV prevention counselor and sex educator. She has written widely for numerous publications and was recently recognized by Coed Magazine as one of the 10 Most Famous College Sex Columnists in America. Timaree is completing a doctorate in Human Sexuality at Widener University.

Do you have a question or comment? Please email Timaree directly at sexpert@MarcLamontHill.com

The Onion’s 2008 In Review: Entertainment

This year, tabloid mainstays like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton were largely out of the limelight. What do you think?

Arvid Bell,
Insurance Salesman
“That is because the world had bigger things to deal with, like Miley Cyrus, and another Angelina Jolie baby.”

Gene Edmonds,
Unemployed
“I’m glad the media finally heeded those poor girls’ repeated pleas for privacy.”

Kate Billey,
Visiting Nurse
“I was hugely surprised by this, especially because we found out this year that Lindsay is a giant lesbian. Who doesn’t like a cover story about a giant lesbian?”

Today’s photo of the day shows the Cowboys, who got their butts whupped by the Philadelphia Eagles yesterday. While I’m not the surprised that the Eagles won, I’m shocked that the Raiders and Texans were able to win and push us into the playoffs.

Today’s video of the day come Minister Louis Farrakhan. The first video is an old school track from Minister Farrakhan, when he was a calypso singer known as the “The Charmer.” The second video shows Farrakhan in concert playing Violin Concerto in E Minor by Felix Mendelssohn. The final video shows the NOI leader wrecking shop during a speech in Atlanta. While I sometimes disagree with his conservative politics, there’s no doubt that Minister Farrakhan is one of the most gifted and significant leaders in American history.