Orlando Air Traffic Controllers Lack Experience

According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, 47 percent of air traffic controllers at Orlando International Airport are in training for certification. What do you think?

Jeremy McManaway,
Splitter Operator
“As a trained pilot, I can tell you it doesn’t matter: I just do whatever I want anyway.”

Greg Harberg,
Kosher Inspector
“That would explain all the wreckage I saw up on Splash Mountain.”

Vicki Milam,
Morgue Attendant
“I’ll pass that information on to my kids. I can save a lot of money if they’re in a state of paralyzed terror the first day at Disney World.”

Today’s video of the day comes from South Park. I don’t usually watch the show, but they WENT IN on Kanye West a few days ago. Thoughts?

For the past month, Magic Johnson’s face has been back on our televisions screen. This time, however, the retired basketball superstar isn’t providing his usual blend of malaprop-filled color commentary. Instead, the legendary point guard is the prime pitchman for Jackson Hewitt’s “Money Now Loan,” which provides instant loans to people in anticipation of their income tax refund. Similar to Billy Dee Williams’ endorsement of malt liquor in the late 1980s and early 1990s, Johnson is lending legitimacy to a product that has had a deleterious impact on the lives of the urban poor.

Over the past few decades, unscrupulous corporations have exploited the economic desperation that pervades many black and brown communities. With the steady decline of living wage jobs and an increasing unwillingness to provide traditional loans to people of color, products like pay day and refund anticipation loans have gained traction in the hood. Rather than provide assistance, however, these loans come with unconscionable strings attached. For example, pay day loans, which are a staple in many poor communities, typically come with annual interest rates in the neighborhood of 400 percent. The Jackson Hewitt loans, also known as refund anticipation loans, offer an APR between 136 and 140 percent. With these Mafia-style lending programs, many borrowers end up rolling over their lends, placing them in a perpetual cycle of borrowing that drains hundreds of millions of dollars from poor communities. “Money like magic?” Hardly.

Since retiring from the NBA, Magic Johnson has committed himself to economic development and urban renewal in some of our country’s most underserved areas. For this reason, I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. In all likelihood, Johnson was unaware of the predatory character of Jackson Hewitt. Instead, like many people who haven’t examined their evil nuances, he probably saw the loans as a mildly uncomfortable option for people with troubled financial histories.

Now that he has been notified, however, he has a moral responsibility to help repair the damage done. First, he must immediately and publicly denounce the Jackson Hewitt campaign. He must also lend support to financially literacy programs, which would provide valuable and viable alternatives to predatory lenders. Finally, he must help lobby state and federal legislators to place sensible and humane restrictions on predatory practices. If he does not do this, he will place his legacy, and the financial future of our most vulnerable neighbors, in serious jeopardy.

Panicked, Sweat-Covered Pope Reverses Longstanding Ban On Abortion

VATICAN CITY—Overturning 2,000 years of religious doctrine, an out-of-breath and visibly flustered Pope Benedict XVI announced Sunday that the termination of unwanted pregnancies was now “completely and perfectly acceptable in the eyes of God.”

The divine proclamation, which contradicts prior teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, was reportedly made by Pope Benedict after a late night phone call to his Vatican residence. According to witnesses, His Holiness was seen pacing back and forth, nervously wringing his hands, and cursing at himself in a hallway mirror before coming to the sudden decision.

“My friends in Christ, brothers and sisters of the cloth, having an abortion is…err…not that big a deal,” announced the anxious pontiff while reading from a series of hastily scrawled edicts. “In fact, it is written, uh, somewhere, that the taking of an innocent life might even be something of a blessing in some cases.”

“For example, when a mother’s life is at risk,” continued Benedict, wiping several beads of sweat from his forehead. “Or, say, when someone is just way too old to become a father at this point.”

For the rest of the story, click here.

50 Cent makes me laugh.