Vatican Okays Space Aliens

Vatican chief astronomer Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes stated that belief in extraterrestrial life is not contradictory with church doctrine because aliens would still be God’s creatures. What do you think?

Babette Kroll,
Systems Analyst
“Is that the same astronomer who pardoned Galileo? He’s really on fire this decade.”

Mark Klein,
Opthalmic Dispenser
“Get with the times, Catholicism. Scientology already proved that aliens are real.”

Jerry Goodwiler,
Cashier
“Sure, what’s the harm in believing in two things with no physical evidence?”

Today’s photo of the day shows Martin Biron of the Philadelphia Flyers, who avoided elimination last night by defeating the Penguins 4-2. Never underestimate the power of hard work!

Today’s video of the day shows New York news anchor Sue Simmons, who acted the fool on live TV last week.

“I know that some of you are probably tired, tired of the injustices. We get tired of having to fight for our rights on a day to day basis. It reminds us of some words that Jeremiah uttered, “is there no balm in Gilead, is there no physician there?” Jeremiah looked and saw the injustices of life, and he raised that question. Centuries later our slave foreparents came along. They had a hard time…I thank God tonight that our foreparents didn’t lose hope. They did an amazing thing. They looked back across the centuries. They took Jeremiah’s question mark, and straightened it into an exclamation point. They could say, “There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole. There is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin sick soul.”

Then they came to another stanza that means so much to me, “Sometimes I feel discouraged.” I’m not going to be untrue to you tonight, sometimes I feel discouraged, having to live under the threat of death every day. Sometimes I feel discouraged having to take so much abuse and criticism, sometimes from my own people. Sometimes I feel discouraged, having to go to bed so often frustrated with the chilly winds of adversity about to stagger me. Sometimes I feel discouraged, and feel my work’s in vain.

But then the Holy Spirit revives my soul again. In Gilead, we make the wounded whole. If we will believe that, we will build a new Memphis, and bring about the day when every valley shall be exalted, every mountain and hill will be made low. The rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. We will be able to build right here a city which has foundations.”

Jimmy Fallon To Host ‘Late Night’

NBC officially announced that Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O’Brien as host of Late Night in 2009. What do you think?

Bill Echols,
Game Warden
“Was that annoying guy from the Verizon commercials unavailable?”

Don Lee,
Sonographer
“I didn’t know his fans were allowed to stay up that late.”

Anne MacLean,
Order Filler
“You know, people groaned when they heard Jimmy Kimmel was getting his own show. And now, at least 15 percent of them have changed their tune.”

Today’s photo of the day shows John Edwards, who officially endorsed Barack Obama yesterday. Is this a major development or “too little too late?”

Classic!

“When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid” - Audrey Lorde

Philadelphia: City of Brotherly Thugs
By Mumia Abu-Jamal

The scene is as common as sunlight: cops beating Black men in the streets.

This time, captured on videotape from a hovering helicopter, a malevolent swarm of cops pull occupants from a car, and then proceed to beat the paste out of the men, kicking, punching, and slamming with a club.  At least 15 cops are seen in the broadcast beatdown; an average of 5 to 1.

Within moments of its broadcast came the predictable defense: cops in Philly are “stressed.”

One need not even await such defenses anymore: just put a tape on speed dial, and repeat.

If ever there was irony, the three car occupants were charged with aggravated assault, and criminal conspiracy.

How much do you wanna bet that the cops, who were caught on film in the midst of aggravated assault, and as they committed the crime in common, criminal conspiracy, are never charged with these crimes — and probably will never be arrested?

How can I dare make such a claim?

Well, I have plenty of practice.

Most folks flash back to the infamous Rodney King case, where cops in L.A. went into a whipping fit, because King tried to outrun them.

Were they too, stressed?

It also reminded me of the taped beating of Delbert Africa, a MOVE member who was beaten during the August 8th, 1978 police raid on MOVE’s home.

These cops, too, were easily acquitted by explicit judicial decree.

If tape doesn’t matter, what does?

In the case against three cops who rifle-butted, punched and kicked Delbert, the judge ignored the video tapes, and cited both Delbert’s muscularity, and the claim of a Black TV reporter, who claimed she saw him armed –this, despite the tape showing him shirtless, empty hands opened, and naked from the waist up!

Prepare for the all but inevitable whitewash.

Look at that tape again, and you will see something that you’ll see if you looked at a gang attack, for these are gangsters, pure and simple.

Only it’s the Blue gang.

Welcome to Philadelphia: the city of brotherly thugs.

–(c) ‘08 maj

“Law & Order” Actor Arrested

Former Law & Order star Dennis Farina was arrested and charged with a felony after he took a loaded, unregistered handgun to an airport. What do you think?

Elizabeth Carter,
Systems Analyst
“Can’t say I blame him. That Brookstone in Terminal One can get pretty dicey.”

Lyle Greystoke,
Parachuting Instructor
“There’s always one loose cannon in every fictitious television precinct.”

Doug Napier,
Molecular Geneticist
“What’s the big deal? Maybe he was just planning to shoot people on the plane.”