1. MIss Dimples wrote:

*Ahem* Well said.

2. Dumi wrote:

Nicely said Marc. The “no homo” and “pause” things are really shallow yet deep! The last paragraph is poignant.

3. Mike wrote:

Excellent article. I teach a Multi-Ethnic Peer Counseling Course at University of Maryland, and I had several conversations about this topic with my students; most of whom were 20-23 years old. It’s interesting to hear young people explain why they use it. It seems that they aren’t as intentional about their disdain for the gay community as using “no homo” may appear. The white and black students used the No Homo slang. I asked the students how it would be if people went around saying “No Negro.” They indicated that it was different in their eyes, because one can easily tell that someone is black, but not if they’re gay. It was a very interesting conversation. I don’t condone using no homo, but I don’t see it as such an offensive slang.

4. Tom Penn wrote:

There is also a trend on college social networking sites like Facebook for some heterosexual men to list their sexual interest as: “men”

And then they answer the question “in a relationship?” …. where they list the name of a male friend and say, “it’s complicated with John Doe.” The whole exersize is meant to be a “joke” but I bet there aren’t too many Gay students who find it funny.

5. Kathryn wrote:

Amazing! You’re so on point. I just finished two years teaching in Atlanta with Teach for America and this is a conversation I wanted to have with my students so many times. However as a middle school teacher, everything borders on inappropriate so I couldn’t. Therefore I just made up a rule called “No non-academic ad-libbing” and it helped me kill a few birds with one stone (no homo, the n-word, shawty, etc) in my classroom. My principal actually loved it. I just wish I had the chance to explain to my students why I didn’t agree with the term.

6. prince wrote:

‘Doc’you are spot on with this notion. I work with and mentor youth often and it seems as though this phrase shows how misinformed and socially ignorant some of them are. It’s all about preception and of course most people would like to be precieved straight, whether true are not. I wish people would like to be precieved as informed and cultured humanbeings, reguardless of their sexual conduct or desires.

7. james wrote:

saw this in the metro the other day. great article. in my circles, i’ve struggled with “that’s gay,” when something isn’t cool or tough or whatever. my 11 daughter still uses this term quite frequently and we’ve had discussions about limiting or eliminating “gay” from our lengthy repertoire of derogatory expressions.

also, “watch the gay hand!,” made the rounds a bit when i was growing up. silly as it sounds, this phrase was used whenever you accidentally brushed up against another dude, especially when performing a task that brought you uncomfortably close to another man.

8. HypnotiqOne wrote:

Please fwd to @lilduval. Thanks!

9. tan wrote:

i never understood this, conceptually i do. plainly it is a simple/feeble minded byword. it is one of those phrases that after you state, you realize if you are half way intelligent, that you just brought light to the fact that it didn’t need to be stated. well said marc…

10. Tayo wrote:

O’Reilly, the classic hypocrite. Thank you for putting him in his place. You can easily tell the guy was extremely irked at the end of the debate. Love it; keep doing your thing.

11. Erik Smith wrote:

Thank you Marc for this very good spotlight. I’ve struggled with the “that’s gay” comments too long. One day while riding on a bus with friends and having to endure a group of teenage boys throwing that idiotic term out too many times, I finally spoke up to them and asked them why they keep saying that. i told them that I’m gay and my friends here on the bus are gay and I find it really offensive. At first the kid acted like he had no idea what I was talking about which was really bizarre. I had to wonder to many people just say stuff and literally not even know why or what they’re saying but only saying it because everyone else is saying it? Too weird. I had to repeat myself several time until the kid got it. He finally apologized and then he looked really uncomfortable. I think sometimes we only need to bring this kind of abuse to attention. I think a lot of people really just say stuff because its popular and everyone is saying it. Makes me really sad to know that most people just aren’t thinking people and only go along with the flow.

12. Tish wrote:

Great post!

That whole “no homo” craze is first and foremost annoying. But you make an excellent point in your last paragraph as to why “straight” people spend so much time thinking of homosexual sexual acts. It just bugs me that a man is so uncomfortable or even a woman for that matter that they feel the need to “label” their intent when speaking. That is like being sarcastic and at the end of every sarcastic remark you make sure to say “end sarcasm”. Not necessary, at least not in most cases.

It is very insensitive and disrespectful to the GLBT community, and I question those who feel the need to even use the term “no homo” when speaking.

Thanks for the great post!

13. DCI74 wrote:

Thanks Marc for speaking on this, it has been driving me crazy for years now every single time I hear the kids I’ve worked with say it over and over again. Its akin to the pimple-faced preteen boys who giggle every time they hear or say the word “pencil” because its similar to the word “penis” and just highlights how incredibly juvenile the whole “no homo/pause” mentality has become. It’s so unnecessary to draw attention to statements or words that have absolutely no sexual connotation attached by quantifying them with a pause or no homo. And I completely agree that stupid behavior like this just further marginalizes the LGBTQ community by implying that sexual orientation is defined by words not actions. To me anyone who embraces this mentality is in some level extremely insecure and somewhat uncomfortable with not only their sexuality but the sexuality of others. If you’re straight and secure why on earth are would a person be so obsessed with sexuality that they would need to say this all the time? It also says a lot about their subconscious state of mind because of all the LGBTQ people I know personally I have never ever heard any of them say “no hetero.” Bottom line, if you are truly secure you don’t have to do anything to prove your security to others.

14. jemontgo wrote:

Thank you. I work at a shelter for teenage boys and it seems they are incapable of having a conversation without dropping the phrase “no homo” at least 7 times. We will be at dinner and they will say pass the meat no homo or when they haven’t seen a male staff in a while they will say I missed you so much no homo. I find myself lecturing them everyday about how insensitive, ignorant, and insecure they sound when ever they use the phrase no homo. Maybe if I told them they must be obsessed with gay sex I could put an end to no homo. I

15. Cézsar wrote:

I’ve always found that “no homo” expression quite annoying. All it reveals about the user is their insecurity in their manhood, which ironically contradicts and negates the very purpose & intent behind the use of the expression in the first place. So a bit of a futile exercise if you ask me. I dont agree however Marc, with the incinuation that such users of the “no homo” and other derisory homosexual expressions are all closet gays who just cant get enough of gay sexual thoughts. I think the gap between the aspiration of that suggestion and its logical basis is a bit too wide for acceptance.

The real reason, I think can be found in this analogy: Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and their ilk are obsessed with Black people; they would swim the seven seas at every given opportunity to speak in a derogatory way about Black people; all the evidence suggests they just cant stop deriding Black people. Hell, their catchphrase for Black folk at their all white thugged out parties could very well be “mo violent”, though we all know who really fights all the real wars. Now, would you say they have Black on the brain so much because a) they secretly want to be Black?; b) they fear Black people, both because they don’t or won’t understand them, and especially given their crimes against Black people?; or c) they really, truly, viscerally, irrationally hate Black people…like arachnophobia for example, or perhaps because they perceive them as a threat to their way of life or even existence?

I’d really like to hear your answer on this.

16. Jeff Hobbs wrote:

I think if you have to say ‘no homo’ then you’re already suspect in your own mind.

17. chris wrote:

Who cares about pillow-biters. Tired of the Gay Agenda.

18. zak wrote:

I don’t know. I know a lot of muh’ fuckas ( and by use of the word “muh’fuckas” I mean ‘urban black youth’) that spend a good portion of the day proving how gay they are not. I don’t think it’s that they’re trying to hide something…but when you say, “I ain’t gay or nothin’, but I was brushing my teeth with the mint flavored baking soda”, you’re acting a little stupid. I like to mess with motherfuckers all of the time. I’ll say, “For real, I ain’t gay or nothin’, but I’ll suck a dick if it has rainbow sprinkles on it. I love me some sprinkles”

Funny is that gay men and hip-hoppering negros have a lot in common. They like expensive clothes, shiny stuff, and love getting the fruitiest drinks in the club.

And the ‘No homo’ saying is a little faggoty if you ask me. Ironic to me anyways.

19. zak wrote:

“pillow-biters”? Please define that.

20. EminemsRevenge wrote:

I AM the THE Ultimate FAG magnet…WHY completely escapes ME…Beyonce could be sitting opposite ME on the subway…no one on HER side of the train…and Jay-Z would RUN towards ME and fag the F out…

Back in *da* DAY…OG’s sticking up mom & pops stores INSTEAD of FDIC insured banks–kidnapping and RAPING 15-year-old GIRLS in the name of “pimpin’”—YO Snoop…WE got some 1-on-1′ing to DO…motherfaggot

21. EminemsRevenge wrote:

Just read about your grandmother on Twitter…condolences bro…to paraphrase Shelley:

Peace, peace! he is not dead, she doth not sleep-
She hath awakened from the dream of life-
‘Tis we, who, lost in the stormy visions keep
With phantoms an unprofitable strife,
And in mad trance strike with our spirit’s knife
Invulnerable nothings.-We decay
Like corpses in a charnel; fear and grief
Convulse us and consume us day by day,
And cold hopes swarm like worms within our living clay.
The One remains, the many change and pass;
Heaven’s light forever shines, Earth’s shadows fly;
Life, like a dome of many coloured glass,
Stains the white radiance of Eternity,
Until Death tramples it to fragments.-Die,
If thou wouldst be with that which thou dost seek!
Follow where all is fled!-Rome’s azure sky,
Flowers, ruins, statues, music, words are weak
The glory they transfuse with fitting words to speak.

22. illestchamp (CHAMP-ION) wrote:

I think it’s admirable you touched on this urban slang; topic often and ignorantly used. My belief is validation or confirmation on such mindless comments stated by “self” is ignorance of one’s “ego”.

Props to you bruah; if this act was to be consistant, many (not all of course) would have to chant this phrase while walking with the new “trend” of the tight jeans and daily muffin top display… Yet, that again would not help. My point is that contradictory is throughout and it’s even more unfortunate how so many of my brothas are contradicting themselves by these words/seeds spoken… especially when stated in front of our children.

Continue sharing greatness man. 100.

Champ-ion (google me; illestchamp)

23. Deacon wrote:

As stereotypical as Zak’s statement is:

“Funny is that gay men and hip-hoppering negros have a lot in common. They like expensive clothes, shiny stuff, and love getting the fruitiest drinks in the club.”

I have a an idea of what he was trying to say, as far as the “no homo” preface being used by straight men if they have to to say it to make the point that their not gay then they need to find another way of getting their point across The irony is that the one’s going around saying it are the same ones wearing their pant below their ass showing the world their dirty drawz, if that’s not gay then I don’t know what is, why would a straight guy want to walk around showing his ass. Is it me or are staright guys more fixated on what gays do sexually than us gay men are.

There’s more to gay men than being fashionable, drinking fruity drinks, snapping fingers, and going to Patti LaBelle concerts, some of us actully play ball, ride bikes, drink beer and don’t give a damn about fashion.

24. DCI74 wrote:

Thanks Marc for speaking on this, it has been driving me crazy for years now every single time I hear the kids I’ve worked with say it over and over again. Its akin to the pimple-faced preteen boys who giggle every time they hear or say the word “pencil” because its similar to the word “penis” and just highlights how incredibly juvenile the whole “no homo/pause” mentality has become. It’s so unnecessary to draw attention to statements or words that have absolutely no sexual connotation attached by quantifying them with a pause or no homo. And I completely agree that stupid behavior like this just further marginalizes the LGBTQ community by implying that sexual orientation is defined by words not actions. To me anyone who embraces this mentality is in some level extremely insecure and somewhat uncomfortable with not only their sexuality but the sexuality of others. If you’re straight and secure why on earth are would a person be so obsessed with sexuality that they would need to say this all the time? It also says a lot about their subconscious state of mind because of all the LGBTQ people I know personally I have never ever heard any of them say “no hetero.” Bottom line, if you are truly secure you don’t have to do anything to prove your security to others.

25. zak wrote:

Believe me, Deac. I know all that. No disrespect. I was being stereotypical on purpose. I’m going after the Jews and their devil horns, and the Asian women with sideways vaginas next.

26. DCI74 wrote:

Jay Smooth put out a really accurate and funny video about this topic last year. I’m still surprised that the term and the overall mentality behind it has grown legs.

27. X-ian wrote:

Great Post Dr. Hill. I hear that silly ass phrase on campus all the time here at Virginia State Univ.

28. Gman6501 wrote:

Fantastic article. I thought I was the only person who felt this way.

29. Cheryl wrote:

The lecture series of Prof. Mwalimu Baruti will lend itself perfectly to this topic! Prof. Baruti is known for his books “The Sex Imperative” & “The Homosexuality & the Effeminization of the Afrikan Male”…..he will be in Phila. on Aug.22-09 from 1p-3p at the Church of the Advocate! You can check him out on youtube as well! And then my girl Dr. Frances Welsing whom I’ve had the pleasure of meeting & attending several of her lectures at Howard…they give great insight into this touchy dynamic that few fear to tread…..All we seem to end up being is’ laboratory rats’ in this society! Let’s wake up folks ” knowledge is a form of self- defense”….we’ve walked in the valley of ignorance for too long!

30. Simon wrote:

Ha Ha.. I had to laugh at the “No Negro” comment.

I dont mean this in anyway to sound racist.. but i really hate you niggers, sorry.. “niggas”! Please.. pack up yourselves, your saggy pants, your shitty music and your ignorant sounding slang and get on a boat back to Afirca. Oh wait.. Africans hate you slave “niggas” too!