For the past few weeks, a very disturbing video clip of actress Maia Campbell has been rapidly circulating through cyberspace. In the video, the former co-star of the sitcom “In the House” engages in a verbal altercation with an unidentified man. Throughout the exchange, Campbell looks disoriented and disheveled, behaving erratically and lapsing in and out of coherent speech. The video also shows her being verbally abused and threatened by the cameraman and another “friend” who drove her to the strange neighborhood and left her in a car to be ambushed by the mean-spirited paparazzo.

Even more disturbing than the footage itself is the story behind it. Since childhood, Campbell has struggled mightily with bi-polar disorder, causing great stress for herself and her family. Since the death of her mother, famed writer Bebe Moore Campbell, Maia Campbell has slipped further into self-destruction, failing to take her medication and reportedly slipping into drug addiction, theft, and prostitution.

Unfortunately, most of the public conversation about Maia Campbell has treated her circumstance as comedy rather than tragedy. From email chains to gossip blogs to Twitter and Facebook, there has been an endless stream of cruel jokes about Campbell’s recent behavior, as well as the state of her mental health. Outside of the Internet, many radio, print, and television journalists have been equally brutal in their discussion of Campbell’s condition. Such behavior not only reflects society’s continued commitment to representing Black women as irrational, immoral, and hypersexual, but also our stunning indifference to issues surrounding black women’s mental health.

The case of Maia Campbell is not isolated, but part of a consistent pattern of treating the mental health struggles of Black women as comedic spectacles instead of sites of concern and care. From Whitney Houston to Lauryn Hill, prominent Black women have had their falls from grace met with public ridicule and disdain. In the case of Lauryn Hill, who many have suspected to be suffering from clinical depression and bi-polar disorder, the very same press that hailed her genius and beauty now routinely mock her appearance and behavior. This is reflective of a long tradition of fetishizing and exploiting Black female bodies, then discarding them once they are no longer useful for profit or pleasure.

Sadly, this ridicule is not coming primarily from outside forces, but from within the corridors of our own community. In the case of Maia Campbell, nearly all of the negative attention that she has received has come from Black media outlets. Others, like Hill and Houston, have been regularly referred to as “train wrecks” “crack hoes” and “chicken heads” by Black commentators. In addition to being disrespectful, this type of language reduces mental illness (and addiction) to a moral failing rather than a medical condition. Also, by treating mentally ill Black women as “good girls gone bad” rather than human beings struggling with legitimate sickness, we only reinforce deeply held taboos about mental health within the our community.

Given our disproportionately high exposure to incarceration, violence, poverty, homelessness, and parental abandonment, Blacks are particularly vulnerable to mental illness. Although we comprise less than 12 percent of the population, we account for more than 25 percent of the nation’s mental health needs. Despite these staggering numbers, Blacks are among the least likely to seek mental health care. While this reluctance is partly to due to a lack of adequate health care and income, as well as a healthy distrust of the American medical establishment, our culture continues to frame mental illness as a sign of individual weakness.

This is particularly true for Black women, who have had to bear the social burden of being “strong” wives, mothers, daughters, and sisters in the face of various forms of inequality and abuse, both inside and outside of the home. As a result, the need for mental health intervention is often accompanied by feelings of guilt, shame, and humiliation. This is why, despite being 50 percent more likely to suffer from depression than their white counterparts, black women are considerably less likely to seek medical help. Instead, many ignore their symptoms or attempt self-medication through drug and alcohol abuse, all of which only intensify the problem. It is for these reasons that our treatment of women like Maia Campbell has such dangerous implications for the broader community.

We must begin to dismantle all of the stigmas that undermine our collective well-being. Once we’ve done this, we will no longer look at the Maia Campbell video as a source of comic relief. Instead we will be angry at the men who have abused and exploited her illness for their own gain. We will be outraged at the people who gave her illegal drugs and alcohol rather than prayer and intervention. Most importantly, we will replace our culture of judgment and blame with an ethic of love and support. Until we can do these things effectively and consistently, our entire community is in need of healing.

Respect for Marriage Act introduced to overturn DOMA. Also, If you’re against same sex weddings because they destroy the sanctity of the marriage, the only way to not be a hypocrite is to join this movement to prohibit divorce

In case you missed this: how NOT to leave a voicemail for a girl you want to date

“…empowering women in the developing world is both morally right and strategically imperative”

Oops, maybe we shouldn’t have persecuted that war hero for being gay.

Dating online? What to say in your first contact message.

“Are cripples screwed?” Upcoming documentary on sex and disability.

Things move a little slower down South: Alabama rules that sex toys are still illegal

Research on the factors that coincide with early sexual behavior. Teens, fortunately, are more likely to use condoms.

Throughout history, in times of economic deprivation, beauty ideals have gotten heavier. Here it goes again: normal sized models are making a move

One man’s attempt to scientifically test sex with a RealDoll

People who exercise have more sex. Have I mentioned I teach pilates and kickboxing? But allergies can put a cramp in your love life.

In a rare move from a website that encourages cheating: how to tell if your wife is cheating on you.

Interesting diatribe about Lady Gaga and pop princess skankitude

Being too tired is the number one reason for not having sex. I propose mid-afternoon naps and exercise.

Questions? Comments? Violent Reactions? Email Timaree at sexwithtimaree@gmail.com See more at SexwithTimaree.com

In the past few days, former President Jimmy Carter has caused a national firestorm by remarking that much of the current opposition to President Obama is rooted in racism. As expected, the racist wing of the GOP quickly dismissed Carter’s comments as wrongheaded and divisive. In truth, however, President Carter was merely identifying a political reality that many of us have been unable or unwilling to recognize: much of the current anti-Obama sentiment has little to do with policy and much to do with race.

Since becoming the Democratic party’s nominee last May, President Obama has been the victim of the most racist smear campaign in American political history. From the xenophobic investigations into his religious background to the moonbatish birther controversy, the right-wing political machine has gone to extravagant lengths to paint Obama as an uppity, untrustworthy, and unprincipled outsider whose very existence represents a threat to the American way of life.

Although the language of race has rarely been explicitly invoked, terms like “Marxist,” “Nazi,” “extremist,” and “foreigner” have been used to smuggle racism and xenophobia into the public conversation without political consequence.

Of course, this is not to suggest that everyone who opposes President Obama is a racist. To the contrary, there have been numerous legitimate reasons to challenge the president’s policies and plans since the beginning of his term. Unfortunately, even the most legitimate critiques have too often been cloaked in a deeply racidicalized veil that appeals to the most vulgar sensibilities within our country.

For the rest of the story, click here.

Question to Sexpert Timaree:

“I’ve had something weird happen a couple times recently. After my fiance and I have had sex, I started crying uncontrollably. It makes no sense! It was great sex! There was no pain. And I’ve never been raped or abused. It freaked me out and so my fiance was really worried. What is going on?”

Let me add to the rollercoaster of emotion that appears to be the trajectory of your life right now by saying: congrats! Your “something weird” is entirely awesome. It’s symptomatic of having wickedly good, emotionally intense banging that’s so great the crowd that is your body gave you a standing ovation.

I get that this sounds weird. Crying tends to be the realm of hurt feelings, broken body parts, hungry babies and graduate students who, in their third year, realize they’ve made a horrible, horrible mistake. It’s a thing that happens when we’re feeling our worst, most awful emotions, plumbing the depths of our murky souls for reasons not to say “fuck it all,” sell our possessions and move to Baja to sell fish tacos on the beach.

But it’s also something we do when we’re feeling ecstatically, stupidly happy. Fan girls bawl like crazed lunatics at the sight of Edward Cullen, parents whimper helplessly as they watch their babies graduate, I still end up with tears streaming down my face every time I watch the JK Wedding Entrance video ‘cause it’s just so damn beautiful.

Granted, some people launch into a post-coital weepfest because of trauma: they are revisiting terrible past experiences or are in physical pain. This, however, is not your situation and you needn’t worry that you’ve sublimated some early memories of an inappropriate piano teacher. Odds are: you’re just fine.

What is causing this though? There are a few ideas, all of which indicate you and your fiance are seriously taking care of business.

HORMONAL MUCH?

Hey, you remember that other time you randomly start crying uncontrollably that happens, oh, about once a month? It’s cause of hormones. Hormones are a real big source of emotional waves. The huge injection of epinephrine, along with oxytocin or vasopressin, floods your system as you orgasm. Nothing like a gargantuan influx of neurochemicals to touch your soul. It brings a tear to my eye now just thinking about it.

YOU’RE ON MY LAST NERVE

When you’re really into the sex, your body gets super geared up for it. But your brain doesn’t know how to differentiate “my fiance is the hottest piece of ass on the fucking planet” from “that bear might well eat me.” It knows what chemicals are pumping through it, that there is tons of vasocongestion (as blood is filling tissue) and muscle tensing, and how to respond to the “trauma” of getting so excited.

Crying is a reflex that is part of the sympathetic nervous system, which is part of the autonomic nervous system, the portion that is entirely out of our control. All that crazy nerve excitation, especially the vagus nerve, and your brain needs to find a release valve for all the pent up steam so it can return to normal.

NEW-AGEY ANSWER

If you believe in tantra, or soul mates or any number of other spiritual ideas about sexuality, you might appreciate this answer. Some suggest that the banging-induced blubbering is your spirit mourning the loss of the communion with your loved one, now that sex has come to an end. It purports that your very beings were entwined entirely for the time in which you were going at it, and now that you must physically and spiritually separate again, there is a short period of accompanying sadness.

So, as you have surmised, it’s only because you feel so strongly towards this partner whom you want to marry that you have this response. Take it as a compliment.

Questions? Comments? Violent reactions? Email sexwithtimaree@gmail.com See more at http://sexwithtimaree.com

Today’s video of the day shows Kanye West on Jay Leno. In the brief interview, West appeared contrite and reflective. I sincerely hope that he gets the help that he admits that he needs.