If someone has a sexually transmitted infection (STI), when should they tell potential partners?(surveys)

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Today marks the birthday of  Nigerian superstar Fela Kuti, the 58-year-old father of Afro-beat, and one of the most significant musicians of the 20th century. Unfortunately, little mention is made in the United States about the life of Fela, whose influence never fully reached American soil. For me, this is extremely disappointing, as we could stand to learn several lessons from Kuti’s life and legacy.

At a moment when mainstream hip-hop music is at a creative nadir, Fela’s artistic integrity provides a wonderful blueprint. Unlike many contemporary artists, Kuti was relatively unaffected by the imperatives of the mainstream market. Kuti rarely made radio consumable songs –few of his songs lasted less than 10 minutes– and he frequently refused to perform music that he had previously recorded. This is a stark contrast from today’s artists, whose creativity is often constrained by personal and corporate profit motives.

Even more significant than Kuti’s musical gifts was his political legacy. As his career progressed, Kuti became increasingly focused on making music that challenged the colonial power structure. More important, he consistently attempted to link his musical activism to real, on the ground political struggles. Unlike many contemporary artists (and academics), Kuti recognized that political activism must extend beyond the song, the t-shirt, or the slogan. While his success in this arena is questionable –one could argue that his Movement of the People (M.O.P.) party was no more focused or successful than Diddy’s well intentioned but shortsighted “Vote or Die” campaign–his ability to galvanize and mobilize his generation is still highly instructive for today’s generation.

Fela’s death in 1997 from AIDS complications forces us to consider the significance of the global HIV/AIDS pandemic. Based on data from 2005, 4 percent of Nigerian adults are HIV-positive. In other sub-Saharan countries, such as Botswana (24%) and Swaziland (33%), the numbers are considerably higher. To be sure, these numbers can be reduced through sustained research, education, and prevention initiatives.

Although he died in an AIDS-induced coma, Kuti went to his deathbed believing that HIV/AIDS was a hoax constructed by the government. To this day, many of his fans refuse to believe that the Nigerian hero could have fallen to such an undignified and unmasculine disease. These beliefs, which are not uncommon, speak to the need for a shift in our public conversations about HIV/AIDS and masculinity. As opposed to the sensational and empirically unfounded “Down Low” discourse, which has contributed to highly problematic policy decisions, we must engage in complex and nuanced conversations about the race and sexual identity of HIV/AIDS.

The Invention of Lying: Another (Albeit Hilarious) Tale Teaching Women Not to be Shallow

I checked out the latest cameo-packed Ricky Gervais comedy last night and was delighted the brilliant premise of a world where lying had not yet been invented fulfilled its potential. I laughed, I cried (I teared up, at any rate), I loved it. But I also left slightly disappointed that it drove home the valuable lesson that you should choose love over looks… to women.

For those who don’t live in a land of movie trailers, The Invention of Lying takes place in a parallel universe where no one has ever thought of deceit, deception or false flattery. Everything is otherwise the same, but people respond honestly to inquiries of “how’s it going?” with recounts of their suicidal ideation and first dates are followed up with emails like, “while the date was enjoyable, I am clearly out of your league.”

The allegory is fabulous for making light of human culture. Everything from advertising (Coke: It is Very Famous) to the existence of religion is lampooned. And the honest, animal needs of humans are held up high to be view un-obscured.

But the farce has a moral, of course. But it really has nothing to do with the ethics of dishonesty. It has to do with superficiality: well, female superficiality.

Ricky Gervais’s character, Mark, pursues a very pretty and mildly charming Anna played by Jennifer Garner and through the course of the story, they fall in love. But her desire to have genetically ideal offspring halts her from becoming romantically involved with Mark. Pushed by her mother and general societal norms, Anna instead goes after the much more physically attractive smarmy motherfucker played by Rob Lowe.

The story, set in a land of compulsory honesty, depicts her decision to go after the handsome man instead of the homely one as being entirely a decision of logic, devoid of the idea of love…or female sexual desire, for that matter. The ultimate decision to end up with the less attractive but nicer guy would be a triumph of the heart over the brain… certainly not of “settling” on her part.

But only for the woman, of course. We root for Anna to follow her feelings rather than her reason because that is the right and good thing to do: to choose substance over facade. But a basic question remains: why the fuck doesn’t Mark just go for a nice, perhaps less model-looking woman who wants him back? Out of the question. Anna’s character is nice enough, but far from being the sweetest, most loving person in the universe, even if everyone is harshly honest. Her virtue is in the fact she is kind despite being pretty enough she doesn’t have to be.

There’s no great outrage here, in this plot premise. In reality, it is furthering the idea that love should triumph over money and looks. But this “sacrifice” of reason (and physical attraction) in favor of feeling is only asked of females. Men are still free to choose partners based on whatever they like. It is the responsibility of women to ensure a partnering is legitimate… and that she be attractive enough to have more than one suitor from which to choose

The Invention of Lying is unique and creative, the kind of genius inspiration that makes one wonder “why hasn’t anyone thought of this before?,” much as Mark’s character wonders how he managed to be the first to invent lying itself. But it’s yet another tale of sentimentality aimed at maintaining gender norms, teaching women if they are pretty enough they can have their choice of men but that they ought to pick the nice one, not the one they want to fuck.

Questions? Comments? Violent Reactions? Email sexwithtimaree@gmail.com.  See more at http://sexwithtimaree.com

Today’s video of the day comes from my man Jasiri X. The song, “What’s Peace?”, offers a brilliant analysis of Obama’s Nobel Prize victory in light of the current global conditions.

How do you feel about pets in the room when you get it on?(polling)
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