Questions to the Sexpert:

“You posted a link to a story about how pulling out is just as effective as condoms. This has got to be wrong. What was the point of all the sex education I’ve had my whole life? Did you read the study? Were there errors in it? And isn’t this dangerous? Won’t this convince kids to stop using condoms?”

Turns out all that sex ed was just a hilarious ploy to prevent you from having a good time, kind of like how dancing was outlawed in that small town in Footloose. Or else it was all just a big side-splitting joke from the people at Planned Parenthood.

Planned Parenthood Employee: “Hey, I bet you people are so stupid we can get them to wear trash bags on their wieners.”

Employee 2: “No way. They’ll ask too many questions. Next thing you know they’ll realize soda pop douches can cure disease and we’ll be out of business.”

No, actually. None of the above.

And yes, I read the original study and it’s not some trick methodology error or misrepresentation of the findings. Educators have known for ages that coitus interruptus, aka “pulling out,” aka withdrawal, aka the Hope Method isn’t really as bad as it often is mocked to be. The Oneida Community, a communist religious group in the 19^th century controlled population using only this method and were damn successful at it.

Here’s the thing: pre-cum DOES NOT contain sperm, only ejaculate does. So really, the only ways with withdrawal can fail are a) the man messes up the timing (the MAJOR reason) or b)the man ejaculated recently and some sperm were still hanging out from the last time.

This is the truth and as a scientist and educator it is my responsibility to tell you this. The difference between me and an ideologue (like the people behind abstinence-only education) is that I don’t think I know better and want to give you the facts so you can make your own damn decisions since you’re the only one who faces the consequences.

This truth is also not meant to be taken as a free pass to unprotected sex. In no way does this change the rates of sexually transmitted infections and in no part am I suggesting that withdrawal will protect you from herpes, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV, syphilis, HPV, cooties or any other infection. And you can probably throw a rock into a crowd and hit a person for whom the pull out method has failed- because with imperfect use, it will fail.

This information has a specific intended audience for whom it is applicable: committed, disease-free adult couples who cannot or chose not to use other methods of birth control. This is NOT for teen boys who can’t possibly be expected to get the timing down. This is NOT for people who have multiple partners or other major risks for STIs. This is NOT meant as an excuse for men to promise to pull out if they don’t really meant it or they can’t handle the responsibility.

In the quest to have the real, scientific truth we sometimes encounter things that cause anxiety because we’re afraid of what people will do with the information. This is the reason some folks fear the Gardasil vaccine: they think it’ll encourage teen girls to go around fucking like maniacs, assuming they’re safe. But it was also the reason that a woman threatened to pull six figure donations from my alma mater after I answered a question about the menstrual cycle. And, of course, it was also why church folk didn’t want Galileo to get word out about the whole earth-revolving-around-the-sun situation.

So here’s the deal: if you aren’t in a committed relationship or don’t know for certain that you and your partner(s) are STI-free, pulling out is not a good option. If you don’t want to get pregnant stick to IUDs, hormonal contraception, condoms and other proven methods. But at the end of the day, the truth is that intercourse without ejaculation is not likely to result in pregnancy. What do you with that is up to you.

Questions? Comments? Violent Reactions? Email sexwithtimaree@gmail.com See more at SexwithTimaree.com

Sexpert Timaree Schmit is currently finishing her doctorate in Human Sexuality, the culmination of a lifetime of prurient interests. She has worked as a sex educator writing for both academic and popular media for over seven years, and as an HIV Prevention Counselor, peer sexuality educator and adjunct professor. She was the founding Chair of the Human Sexuality Education Student Organization (HSEDSO) and is an active member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and the Society for Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS). You can see more of her work at SexWithTimaree.com