Sex With Timaree
September 29, 2008 by Marc Lamont Hill
Question to the Sexpert:
“I rented the film Quid Pro Quo last week because I adore Nick Stahl, the actor. Essentially, it’s about a paraplegic journalist who’s investigating people who want to be amputated or otherwise become disabled. I’d heard a little about this fetish before, but my girlfriend brought up the point that it’s like transsexuality: in fact, one of the movie characters said she WAS a disabled person trapped in an able body. What do you think? If you’re accepting of people having surgery to change their sex, what about this?”
Thank GOD! Someone finally asked an oddball question about an obscure sexual fetish instead of just turning to the obnoxiously single girl for relationship advice.
For those who’ve not heard of this phenomenon before, or who have not seen the latest installment in the acting career of international superstar Nick Stahl (or haven’t even heard of him), let’s define a few terms, shall we? Great.
Ya’ll know what a disability is right? Good. So far we’re all on the same page. Whether you’re born with it or develop it at some point in life, it’s some sort of physical impairment or difference that makes functioning slightly or extremely dissimilar from that of the average person: deafness, spinal cord injury, amputation, etc.
Sounds like a blast, right? Well to some folks it really, really does. Some folks are turned on by disability: which is a preference that can range from totally normal (“hey, see that chick on the wheelchair? She’s wicked hot”) to creepily fetishistic and or exploitative (“god, I wanna lick that stump”). These folks are called devotees or acrotomophiles. For them, this is pretty much a sexual thing. Think foot-binding done in ancient China.
There are also folks who get their jollies from pretending to have a disability: using crutches when they can walk, binding their arms backwards, etc. Some people get off on fantasizing about themselves as disabled: they’re called apotemnophiles.
Some of these folks not only want to be disabled but feel that they need to be disabled. In fact, these wannabes (or transabled people, as some prefer to be called) feel they are disabled people trapped in a body that is not complete…. until they lose the offending body part/ability.
These transabled folks may express that they don’t feel right with their limbs intact, that their left arm, for instance, does not belong to them, or that they really belong on a wheelchair and are trapped in the body of a person who can walk. And these people are not delusional or psychotic. And they seek out doctors who will help them become disabled or try to do it themselves.
I’ll let you sit there, and reread that fucking paragraph. Go ahead, go back, reread it. It’s still there and it’s still true.
What causes this? No one really knows. Perhaps it’s a parietal lobe issue, maybe they seek novelty and exoticism, maybe they just want attention. Perhaps it’s a matter of imprinting: they attached erotic significance to a disability early on and kept conditioning themselves to be turned on by it. It could be interest in being non-conforming, a Munchausen-like desire to self-harm for affection or even an extreme form of masochistic submission.
While you could lump all the DPWs together (devotees, pretenders and wannabes), they often prefer to be sorted out separately. From this separation has arisen the notion that the group of wannabes: transabled people, people who would be diagnosed as having Body Integration Identification Disorder are comparable to people who are transgender: not conforming to the sex expressed by their bodies.
On one hand, it makes sense, as your girlfriend said, because we’ve heard people talk about their transsexuality as being “trapped in the wrong body” and needing surgery to correct the dissonance. This is the argument put forth by some transabled people. They say once they get rid of that goddamn leg, right above the knee, the world will be right.
But to many people who are disabled… like, for real for real disabled, and especially those disabled folks who are transgender, this notion is repugnant.
I’m in no position to really judge this. First and foremost I believe in a person’s right to self determination: to do whatever crazy, dangerous, silly, fun, wild, stupid, or downright sensible things they want to do to their own bodies as long as no one else has to be held responsible for the consequences. You wanna pierce your eyeball, tattoo your scrotum, whack off a hand, it’s no more my business than is anything else.
But, as with all things, that doesn’t mean I have to think it’s the best decision.
Is it related to transsexuality? Maybe. There are undeniable similiarities, but that doesn’t mean we have to put the two on the same level or react to them the same way. I thank the stars every day for my luck: being in a body that does what I need it to do. I wish that everyone could be so lucky.
Timaree Schmit is a trained sexologist who has also worked as an HIV prevention counselor and sex educator. She has written widely for numerous publications and was recently recognized by Coed Magazine as one of the 10 Most Famous College Sex Columnists in America. Timaree is completing a doctorate in Human Sexuality at Widener University.
Do you have a question or comment? Please email Timaree directly at sexpert@MarcLamontHill.com
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55 Comments
1. gigi wrote:
Timaree,
Are you just writing ever-green pieces without taking the target audience into consideration? The majority of this target audience has very little concern about a lot of your subject topics. What do you really know about this audience??????
September 29, 2008 @ 12:37 pm2. Sean O'Connor wrote:
Well, I’m one of those “godamned” transabled people. I’m glad you refer to my site in your blog post, but for a doctor, I’m a bit surprise by the tenor of your language. Then again, you’re not a medical doctor, so perhaps it’s not so surprising. I’m not so surprised by the general negative tone against those of us who have Body Integrity Identity Disorder, a real condition which makes us suffer intensely. I doubt you’d rant against people who are bipolar or schizophrenic.
You also fail to mention that the ONLY thing that has shown to work with helping us is indeed acquire the impairment we seek. Psychiatry, psychotherapy, prescribed medication, nothing touches it. The only thing that has helped people is to become disabled.
And then, of course, you miss mentioning that BIID is not a sexual fetish. Yeah, it’s not sexual!!! It’s about body image, not getting your “jollies”.
Your revulsion at the concept says more about your perception of “disability” than anything else, methinks.
September 29, 2008 @ 3:35 pm3. timaree wrote:
gigi-
i understand your concern. however, in my mind i can’t make any assumptions about the potential readership, what is important and interesting to them and what will be merely tangental and weird. the purpose of this column in general is to increase comfort with communication about sexual matters and to inform on specific topics as the question writers request.
for you and other readers who find subjects such as this to be too off-the-wall to be applicable, i can only suggest that if one week’s topic is not pertinent or fascinating to you, simply wait until next week and see if the following column is of more interest…. or write me a question yourself, about a topic that concerns you.
September 29, 2008 @ 3:43 pm4. Dominick wrote:
It’s not necessarily that I care what people do to their bodies. I care specifically about these groups claiming to be similar to transgendered individuals. The only similarity is the claim that both groups are in the wrong bodies. All studies are pointing to differing processes in the brains, with BIID more likely to be treated with medications since it appears to be more an imbalance in the brain causing BIID in certain individuals. Imbalances can be corrected with medicine. Every study about transexuality is showing that it cannot be corrected in this way.
Multiple studies show possible genetic links and other causes for transgenderism. In fact, one just completed, show that transexuals are more prevalent to having a particular gene variant (Check it Out. For example, one studied theory is that the hormonal wash over an in utero baby maps the brain of transgendered individuals to the sex that is opposite of their biological gender. When studied, many transgendered individuals have brains structured the way the brain of the sex they see themselves as. No medication can fix that.
I also find it offensive to have the BIID community constantly say this isn’t about sex. It isn’t just a fetish and then write about (on their blogs) wearing diapers and getting erections when they do. The diapers are so they can pretend to be more disabled since many people with spinal cord injuries have to use catheters due to inability to control the bladder.
As a transgendered, disabled person in a wheelchair I can honestly say my transition is not sexually arousing. This is yet another difference between the two groups.
Finally, I think it is highly wrong for those who actually go through with hacking off a limb to then be able to apply for social security/disability payments, medicaid, and other services provided to those with physical disabilities. Those of us born this way struggle for what little coverage is available, so having these benefits taken to be given to someone originally able-bodied who made themselves disabled is a tough pill to swallow.
September 29, 2008 @ 4:17 pm5. gigi wrote:
Timaree,
Assumptions about the potential readership?! Are you kidding or deliberately trying to sweetly patronize me (it’s rhetorical . . . as it doesn’t matter in my mind)? This is the Barbershop and if that’s not cue enough – all you have to do is take a look at the responses from the regulars (but you know that already). If it is your true desire to educate and inform, shouldn’t by now, you take into consideration the sensibilities of the readers.
There is an internal dialogue (that reveals our desires and concerns) within the black and hip hop community that is not reflective in a lot of your posts (and that is my key point). How about you researching what those topics are? Then filter stories that are more pleasing to the readers palate.
I never said or inferred that the topics are too-off-the-wall for me. I simply know that the black community cannot afford to waste their time with distributed content that doesn’t relate to them and I figured I would let you in on that.
September 29, 2008 @ 5:19 pm6. Tanya wrote:
Standing Ovation for Gigi!!!!!!!!!!!
September 29, 2008 @ 5:29 pm7. R.oB. wrote:
Gigi and Tanya,
This is Marc’s blog and we are basically his guests. He made the decision to make her a regular columnist. Timaree fielded a question from a reader of this blog and chose to answer it. Both are their prerogatives. It’s most certainly not your prerogative to tell me what does or does relate or what is or is not relevant. I can make those decisions for myself. Thank you very much. What you read is yours. What you feel irrelevant or in bad taste or a waste of time, is most definitely yours. And by all means express that opinion. Just don’t presume to speak for me.
September 29, 2008 @ 9:56 pm8. R.oB. wrote:
Plus there is no such thing as internal anything on the Internet unless you got some strong encryption with authorization!
September 29, 2008 @ 10:01 pm9. gigi wrote:
Hey R.OB,
Since this is a democratic space or is supposed to be . . . a fist pump for you! Go ROB (your opinion and assessment of her post are yours to have). However, I don’t need you to express the basics to me about Timaree being on the blog, whose blog it is, or whatever technical information you can muster up (simply because I don’t agree or support her post (most of the time). Basically, your inferring that I should shut up and accept my position as a guest even if I don’t agree. What’s up wit that (rhetorical)? I have never insulted or come sideways at anybody on this blog and I actually believe I gave her sound advice.
By, the way it has been an internal dialogue within the black community since the transatlantic slave trade as it is documented by great scholars, writers, and experts. Either you misunderstood my point or were coming at me sideways. Dunno? Anyway, that internal dialogue will most always prove one thing. The black population cannot afford to engage in practices like the dominate culture due to their structural relationship with their oppressor. I believe that also includes sex and sex practices. Check out all statics (teen pregnancy, HIV, etc.). Most black women don’t even have a man to have sex with. Why ( I don’t really want to open that can of worms)? Of course, the individual can make choices as you did in your right to disagree with me but that does not negate the collective relationship(s) that I was referring to.
September 29, 2008 @ 11:16 pm10. Tanya wrote:
Whoo weeee! Another Standing O for Gigi!!!!!!!!
***round of applause***
September 29, 2008 @ 11:22 pm11. james wrote:
gigi, i think timaree’s and r.o.b’s answers sufficiently addressed your main points.
what i am perceiving from your responses is racial hostility rather than actual or accurate attempts at criticism.
September 30, 2008 @ 10:33 am12. DCI74 wrote:
gigi, timaree also posts these on her website so her audience isn’t limited to just the visitors to this blog.
You can’t please everyone timaree. As long as you at least answer the question to the person that submitted it to the best of your abilities, what more can you ask for? If the casual reader gets something out of it then wonderful but if not you’ve at least accomplished your goal of providing some advice.
September 30, 2008 @ 10:54 am13. gigi wrote:
James,
Your perception in regards to me is flawed but it is yours to have. I made myself very clear. Asking any professional or expert what they know about a target audience and how there information can help them is legitimate in any circle….
September 30, 2008 @ 1:34 pm14. anne wrote:
What exactly are the boundaries of discussion about sex in the Black community??
September 30, 2008 @ 1:55 pm15. sufimaster wrote:
I’ve been in the shadows of this blog for a long time. Once, Marc did a roll call encouraging readers to speak on what they like and don’t like. I should have responded then but I will now. I really like the blog but I never cared for Timaree’s posts. I just feel that most of them don’t apply to me or people I kick it with. It’s not personal, I don’t relate. I think gigi had alot of heart to say what she said and I don’t think you have to be racist or hostile to feel this way. I wanna know can i live? Am I wrong for wanting things that meet my needs, intrests, and concerns. Constructive critisim is just that aand not intented to be personal. Now, I know some people attack people personally on this site but that is not my intent and i honestly don’t think the criticism Timaree recieved was meant to be personal…i found it valid.
September 30, 2008 @ 2:27 pm16. sufimaster wrote:
I’ve been in the shadows of this blog for a long time. Once, Marc did a roll call encouraging readers to speak on what they like and don’t like. I should have responded then but I will now. I really like the blog but I never cared for Timaree’s posts. I just feel that most of them don’t apply to me or people I kick it with. It’s not personal, I don’t relate. I think gigi had alot of heart to say what she said and I don’t think you have to be racist or hostile to feel this way. I wanna know can i live? Am I wrong for wanting things that meet my needs, intrests, and concerns. Constructive critisim is just that aand not intented to be personal. Now, I know some people attack people personally on this site but that is not my intent and i honestly don’t think the criticism Timaree recieved was meant to be personal…i found it valid.
September 30, 2008 @ 2:42 pm17. james wrote:
a target audience only needs defining when you are selling something. timaree is not, so far as i can tell, selling anything. she is providing sometimes interesting sex information for free (i’m pretty sure she’s not on marc’s payroll.) in other words, your attempt to infuse race into this discussion seems more toward hostile than well-intentioned criticism. if there were a picture of timaree as a black woman, would you still have the same comments on this post?
September 30, 2008 @ 2:42 pm18. sufimaster wrote:
ve been in the shadows of this blog for a long time. Once, Marc did a roll call encouraging readers to speak on what they like and don’t like. I should have responded then but I will now. I really like the blog but I never cared for Timaree’s posts. I just feel that most of them don’t apply to me or people I kick it with. It’s not personal, I don’t relate. I think gigi had alot of heart to say what she said and I don’t think you have to be racist or hostile to feel this way. I wanna know can i live? Am I wrong for wanting things that meet my needs, intrests, and concerns. Constructive critisim is just that aand not intented to be personal. Now, I know some people attack people personally on this site but that is not my intent and i honestly don’t think the criticism Timaree recieved was meant to be personal…i found it valid.
September 30, 2008 @ 2:43 pm19. Tanya wrote:
No James, the question is, if Timaree was a black woman would YOU (a white man) hold the same sentiment here?
If Timaree was black, you would most probably just dismiss her as hyper-sexual.
If Timaree was a black woman, I sincerely doubt that Marc would allow her this column on his blog, as vulgar as she is.
September 30, 2008 @ 2:48 pm20. Tanya wrote:
Gigi, you GO!!!
September 30, 2008 @ 2:49 pm21. gigi wrote:
James,
you know what they say about assumptions and that is what your comments are based in but i have too much self respect to even answer that question and target audience is a term that is used in the media (not only for sales purposes).
September 30, 2008 @ 2:51 pm22. james wrote:
no, no, gigi: media is always selling, and “target audience” is a always marketing term.
September 30, 2008 @ 2:59 pm23. gigi wrote:
tit for tat …come james you are better than that…and it is used in tv and film in regards to content. Also, if a blog isin’t apart of the media and selling ideas…what is it (rhetorical)? Enjoy the rest of your day…I have to run. Peace
September 30, 2008 @ 3:07 pm24. Tanya wrote:
Anne,
Here’s the thing:
We are all adults here. We are all respectful and decent adults, and if this type of dialogue is driven in a decent and respectful way, there are no boundaries.
The problem is that Timaree lacks class.
I don’t mean to bash Timaree; I see she is trying to clean up her act a bit, and that’s great stuff, and I understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day. But Timaree carries this blog like she’s a hooker in a strip club talking to a bunch of vagabonds. And she’s not!!!
She has to take into account her audience here.
Timaree is a Ph.d candidate. If she wants to address these type of off-the-wall topics, and thinks it’s going to somehow create a comfort level for addressing sex – FINE!
But she ought to conduct this column in a more academic manner. Address these issues from an academic standpoint; discuss them with a level of decency and class. Offer advice by examining the issue at point and draw relevance to a diverse crowd. It seems the only people she seeks to please are the sickos that send her these outrageous items (and maybe her own insatiable appetite).
James, Timaree is selling something. She stated:
“the purpose of this column in general is to increase comfort with communication about sexual matters and to inform on specific topics as the question writers request.”
She wants to inform us and make us comfortable discussing sexual matters.
Therefore, she HAS to define her audience here, and as a professional, she needs to address these topics with academic integrity and common decency.
And she HAS NOT! In any post I’ve seen from her here. AND THAT IS THE PROBLEM!
September 30, 2008 @ 3:12 pm25. anne wrote:
Her links seem to indicate a wide variety of knowledge and sources for her material. What constitutes “decency?”
September 30, 2008 @ 3:17 pm26. james wrote:
gigi, ideas are not for sale, which is why you cannot copyright them. this blog represents a community; it is not a member of the media because marc isn’t selling anything through this blog.
September 30, 2008 @ 3:18 pm27. Tanya wrote:
James, don’t be so dumb!
And I posted this under your #13 but it didn’t show, so here it is again:
No James, the question is, if Timaree was a black woman would YOU (a white man) hold the same sentiment here?
If Timaree was black, you would most probably just dismiss her as hyper-sexual.
If Timaree was a black woman, I sincerely doubt that Dr. Marco Polo would allow her this column on his blog, as vulgar as she is.
September 30, 2008 @ 3:24 pm28. Tanya wrote:
James, don’t be so dumb!
September 30, 2008 @ 3:27 pm29. Tanya wrote:
No James, In response to your #13: the question is, if Timaree was a black woman would YOU (a white man) hold the same sentiment here?
If Timaree was black, you would most probably just dismiss her as hyper-sexual.
If Timaree was a black woman, I sincerely doubt that Dr. Marco Polo would allow her this column on his blog, as vulgar as she is.
September 30, 2008 @ 3:33 pm30. Tanya wrote:
No James, In response to your #13: the question is, if Timaree was a black woman would YOU (a white man) hold the same sentiment here?
September 30, 2008 @ 3:34 pm31. Tanya wrote:
If Timaree was black, you would most probably just dismiss her as hyper-sexual.
September 30, 2008 @ 3:34 pm32. Tanya wrote:
If Timaree was a black woman, you would most probably just dismiss her as hyper-sexual.
If Timaree was a black woman, I sincerely doubt that Dr. Marco Polo would allow her this column on his blog, as vulgar as she is.
September 30, 2008 @ 3:35 pm33. Tanya wrote:
If she was a black woman, you would most probably just dismiss her as hyper-sexual.
If she was a black woman, I sincerely doubt that Dr. Marco Polo would allow her this column on his blog, as vulgar as she is.
September 30, 2008 @ 3:37 pm34. Tanya wrote:
If Timaree was a black woman, you would most probably just dismiss her as hyper-sexual.
If Timaree was a black woman, I sincerely doubt that Hill would allow her this column on his blog, as vulgar as she is.
September 30, 2008 @ 3:38 pm35. Tanya wrote:
If she was black, you would most probably just dismiss her as hyper-sexual. If she was black, I sincerely doubt that Hill would allow her this column on his blog, as vulgar as she is.
September 30, 2008 @ 3:39 pm36. Tanya wrote:
James,
To be clear, media is not defined as an avenue of sale.
“In communication, media is the storage and transmission tools used to store and deliver information or data. It is often referred to as synonymous with mass media or news media, but may refer to a single medium used to communicate any data for any purpose.” – Wiki.
And ideas can be copyrighted, and trademarked; but that’s beside the point.
Gigi is right here, get off her back!
You know very well that if Tim. was black you would most probably dismiss her as hyper-sexual. And I believe if she was black, Hill would not allow her this space, as vulgar as she is.
September 30, 2008 @ 4:20 pm37. Tanya wrote:
James,
To be clear, media is not defined as an avenue of sale.
“In communication, media is the storage and transmission tools used to store and deliver information or data. It is often referred to as synonymous with mass media or news media, but may refer to a single medium used to communicate any data for any purpose.” – Wiki.
And ideas can be copyrighted, and trademarked; but that’s beside the point.
Gigi is right here, get off her back!
September 30, 2008 @ 4:21 pm38. Tanya wrote:
Ann,
“Decency is conformity to sociocultural standards of conduct and speech.” – Wiki.
Decency – “conformity to standards of taste, propriety, or quality, conditions or services considered essential for a proper standard of living, literary decorum.” – Merriam Webster
Decency – “The state or quality of being decent; propriety. Conformity to prevailing standards of propriety or modesty. Social or moral proprieties.” – Online Dictionary
September 30, 2008 @ 4:27 pm39. R.oB. wrote:
I never implied that you should shut up (what the hell!!!) but actually said you should express your opinion as you heart desires. What I took issue with was:
I simply know that the black community cannot afford to waste their time with distributed content that doesn’t relate to them and I figured I would let you in on that.
I inferred that you were saying that some of the things Timaree writes are about doesn’t relate and is a waste of their time. It sounds like a fair inferrence to make. But you are speaking for me in that statement. I presumption I took a little offense to. I reserve the right to decide what is or is not a waste of my time. Period.
September 30, 2008 @ 10:20 pm40. R.oB. wrote:
Tanya,
I would agree with you except you made one fatal flaw. This is an open forum. If you don’t like it don’t read it. Simple. What’s the problem? We are entitled to anything here.
September 30, 2008 @ 10:32 pm41. R.oB. wrote:
TYPO: We aren’t entitled…
September 30, 2008 @ 10:33 pm42. gigi wrote:
Tanya,
Thanks for having my back. Boy o’ boy … a black woman can’t have her say in america (in regards to content and how it relates to the collective) without stirring up some deep-seated emotions in people. Isin’t it funny how most over-looked the advice I offered and went straight for the kill. Wow! I think I’m having a Michelle Obama moment.LMAO
September 30, 2008 @ 11:46 pm43. Tanya wrote:
Gigi,
No prob girlie!
“a black woman can’t have her say in america…” (lol)
That’s why we need to stick together and hold each other down!
October 1, 2008 @ 6:54 am44. Tanya wrote:
R.oB.,
“What’s the problem?”
The problem, dear Rob, is that Timaree is NOT accomplishing her goal here.
She stated, in effect, that she wants to inform us and make us comfortable discussing sexual matters. (#2)
And obviously she’s NOT doing that b/c her column here regularly receives less than 2 comments. Which means the majority of people on this blog, are, as you suggested, ignoring her column (”If you don’t like it don’t read it.” -Rob), or at least, are not stimulated to engage in a discussion under her topics.
Henceforth, Gigi, as well as myself, chose to share with her what we feel might help her reach us and stir up dialogue in the Barbershop.
So in turn, the only “fatal flaw” is that you were not able to identify the problem here.
But thanks for stating the obvious – “This is an open forum.” – Rob
October 1, 2008 @ 7:12 am45. R.oB. wrote:
Gigi and Tanya,
Puuhhlleaassseeee. The Black woman is not under attack here
I never attacked your right to criticize Timaree or her column. I attacked your presumption for speaking for the whole community, Gigi. I don’t care if you are a purple hermaphrodite, I’m going to call bullsh** on that.
And as for you Tanya, I’m quickly losing respect for you. Can you disagree with anyone without dripping sarcasm, ugly arrogance and sanctimony? You aren’t God. Your opinions aren’t facts. And you don’t dictate anything around here. Making two people uncomfortable doesn’t mean Timaree is or isn’t doing her job. Maybe she is and maybe she isn’t. A scientific poll would answer that question. I’ve yet to see those results. She hasn’t made me less or more comfortable yet. I just enjoying see what she’ll come up with next.
October 1, 2008 @ 8:36 am46. Miss Martin wrote:
R.oB.–i agree. Timaree, keep kicking ass ma!
October 1, 2008 @ 9:39 am47. james wrote:
gigi, your advice makes no sense, which is why i ignored it, and questioned the motives behind the advice. no “deep-seated emotions” have been stirred. timaree, from what i can see, writes a sex column–not a black community sex column.
October 1, 2008 @ 9:52 am48. DCI74 wrote:
I really don’t want to jump deeply into this fray but Tanya it should be noted that the amount of comments on timaree’s post isn’t an accurate reflection of viewership or effectiveness of her advice. Marc every now and then does a Roll Call thread to garner comments from the many people that hit this site yet don’t leave comments i.e. ‘lurkers.’ There are many more people that visit the site daily without leaving comments versus the ones that actually chose to leave comments.
October 1, 2008 @ 11:08 am49. gigi wrote:
R.Ob,
Please see my ending comments from #7:
Of course, the individual can make choices as you did in your right to disagree with me but that does not negate the collective relationship(s) that I was referring to.
Rob, at this point my comments are not about you(personally) as I already stated…which you seemed to miss. However, you really are insistent with beating a dead horse. Also, making statements like purple hermaphrodite really are loaded statements. You should be careful that you are not turning into what you are accusing Tanya of being.
James,
You out-ed yourself with all of the un-necessary word picking in Timaree’s defensive…you thought you were trapping me but instead snared yourself. So, you get the gas face and ignored from this point on.
50. james wrote:
gigi, i have no interest in trapping you. i just thought you might like to see how your comments are being perceived by an objective, well-educated reader. if you wish to make fart-faces and ignore me, i say follow your bliss.
October 1, 2008 @ 11:39 am51. BIGNick wrote:
I am one of the people that always ignore her post because whenever I did read them I found them to be wack.
October 1, 2008 @ 12:14 pm52. Piscean Princess wrote:
This has gotten to be so tiring. I am still not understanding why those who do not enjoy this column don’t just skip it. There are many of us who enjoy it and we look forward to reading it each week, whether we comment or not. Why does every Monday have to turn into some discussion about Timaree’s race, decency or relevance to the Black community? She is a long time contributor to this blog and many of us respect and enjoy hearing from her. For goodness sake, if you don’t like what you’re reading just skip it.
Geez!
October 1, 2008 @ 6:09 pm53. Tanya wrote:
R.oB.
“And as for you Tanya, I’m quickly losing respect for you. Can you disagree with anyone without dripping sarcasm, ugly arrogance and sanctimony?”
LMAO Dag, it’s all that????
I just thought it was cute!
Don’t take it personally Rob. It’s nothing against you; it’s JUST JOKES!!!
Surely you have to know that, surely I jest!
Just know I’m NOT losing any respect for you.
“You aren’t God.”
I know! Of this, I am fully aware! I’m nowhere near his perfection and omnipotence. But I do try to stay near to him. (and that’s part of my rejection for Timaree’s manner)
October 1, 2008 @ 6:20 pm54. Tanya wrote:
DC,
“it should be noted that the amount of comments on timaree’s post isn’t an accurate reflection of viewership or effectiveness of her advice.”
I am fully aware that there are “lurkers”, and I am fully aware that the amount of comments do not reflect the rate of viewership.
However, the lurkers are lurkers, and do not, or rarely comment on any post; but the regulars that do comment, tend not to comment on Timaree’s post.
The purpose of any blog is to initiate discussion. And clearly that is Timaree’s goal here. I offered my opinion on what might help her initiate discussion in the Barbershop and elsewhere.
Gigi, nor I are the first in the Barbershop, and I’m sure we won’t be the last, to express discontent and distaste with Timaree’s column. If she wants to expand her influence, I gave her a resolve.
That is all!
October 1, 2008 @ 6:30 pm55. Tanya wrote:
James,
I’m going to have to give a “Puuhhlleaassseeee” to you!
You know dame well that if Tim-Tim-a was black, you would not be backing her here. You would just simply turn your white nose up at her and reject her as hyper-sexual.
October 1, 2008 @ 6:33 pmLeave a Reply

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