Black people are not loud, loud people are loud, Muslims are not predisposed to terrorist activity but some terrorists have used their religion as justification for their actions but the same can be said about Christians (ie. Branch Davidians, Oklahoma City bomber, etc.). However I understand it’s the ignorant and lazy ones who will draw assumptions even in the face of clear and obvious logic. Having said that I won’t let the ignorance of others dictate how I live my life. As I said previously, I know what it’s like to wait tables and that perspective supersedes everything when I am eating at a restaurant. I don’t feel any additional pressure to make sure I tip generously because some feel black people don’t tip well. On the other hand because I’ve been a waiter I have an immediate understanding of how hard the work is and how important tips are to the overall income of a waiter. In those situations my blackness is irrelevant but my job experience isn’t.

That’s an interesting juxtaposition…not one I’d necessary use because I can’t see how victims of rape can be put in the same category as the bonehead in this vid. Still, I see your point. However…

…even some pyschologists indicate that potential victims should try to humanize with their attacker. By talking to them, engaging them, talking about their families, etc., may be able to increase the odds that a rape could be curbed. I’m not sure how true that it, especially when we ARE dealing with the compulsive types. But even the suggestion that women can empower themselves in those instances implies that the onus – even to a small degree – can be passed to somebody.

I appreciate the fact that you can brush off other people’s ignorance and stereotyping. But I’m not so sure most people have that kind of resolve. For one, it’s difficult to even TELL when you’re on the receiving end of treatment because of somebody else’s antics (i.e. I can’t tell if I’m being following by a security guard in a store because I look suspicious or because of what a few black teenagers did the week before). But even in circumstances where people are certain about the source of the ignorance to which they’re being subjected, that doesn’t always let the original offender – the one who gives bigots the fuel to BE bigots – off the hook.

That’s what I think anyway.

Andre, you can carry a cross for this woman if you want to but I think it’d be far simpler and more enjoyabe to ridicule and rebuke to the point of penance, anyone who disrespects you on account of someone else’s actions. When you assume something about me, you make an ass out of yourself and I’ll let you know about it. When you arrogantly presume to know me, I’ll take relish in giving you an intellectual vivisection and exposing your ignorance. In other words I let everyone carry their own cross. I think you should do the same. If a person doesn’t want to be talked to sideways or laughed at, then they should approach me (or life more generally) from first principles; in other words assume nothing…except the intelligence of sentience, which we all have. That way, the starting point will always be respect.

In a perfect world, each of us would only need to be beholden to ourselves. But racial minorities were never afforded such a luxury. Now if you want to get down to specifics, I think it’s pretty obvious to state that I personally would not be affected by anything YOU did. As you stated, we don’t know each other; probably don’t live in the same area (I’m from Michigan), don’t frequent any of the same joints and won’t likely have our lives intersected at any point. But we both DO know other black people whose lives are directly (and perhaps unintentionally) affected by decisions we make…particularly, the negative decisions we make.

The most prominent racialized stereotypes assume the worst in people. Black folks are loud, ignorant, ghetto, and – apparently – bad tippers. Muslims are terrorists. Latinos are illegal immigrants. So on, ad infinitum. The only group in this country NOT monolithically defined are our white brothers and sisters (I mean, if white America was defined by the Jerry Springer crowd, we’d think the majority of white people ate squirrel for breakfast, slept with their sisters, and lived in W. Virgina…). Faced with the menacing reality that our negative behaviors are unfairly ascribed to the WHOLE RACE, the onus to combat that falls on us. So as unfair as it may be for us to be each other’s keepers (in the social sense), we have to.

To answer your question Cézsar, I was being more tongue-in-cheek than anything about “setting the race back” regarding the issue of tipping specifically. Among the laundry list of racially regressive issues plaguing the so-called “black community”, tipping is not something I prioritize. While bad tipping certainly has all the makings of stereotype propogation, I’m not really trippin’ on that. Instead, what bothers me (in all seriousness) is the unnecessary diatribe in this lady’s video and the negative social consequences black people IN GENERAL will face because of it. It’s one thing to be the bold and demonstrative patron speaking out about unsatisfactory service she received. It’s another to unapologetically, and (to be frank) vulgarly express to the world how ‘you ain’t gotta leave no motherf—in’ tip if you ain’t got it…’ while showing the world your ass in the process. As if black people didn’t have enough social conflict to deal with and to combat, our viral friend here just added one more shrimp to the barbie.

One of the unfortunate consequences of being a racial minority in this country is that we often find ourselves being dictated to by a subset of people. How many black people – good tipping black people – will have to carry the cross for this woman?